Poetry Forum

My first language is Maltese, a mixed Semitic-Romance language with English influences. This is a poem that I wrote in Maltese which I than translated to English. Enjoy. L-Ixwejjah Haddiem u l-Krema(Maltese Version) Il-krema qatt ma tqattar minn halq il-mara Fill-garra ta' wied ix-xwejjah il-haddie...

I am not a big fan of "two words per verse poems" to start with. I thought the thought of the poem was clear enough and it is quite a refreshing poem to read. I would change the first verse "disrobed naked" as they are referring to the same thing. Well Done. ~ Gakbu.

I liked the fact that the whale was the central symbol of the poem. I like the others did not understand the cathedral bit, I think you need to introduce the concept of the cathedral first for us to understand it. Also, I agree with Kilravlius, that the second stanza should be re-arranged in the way...

Thank you both for your comments, much appreciated. What I mean by "most men pretend to die to soothe their pride" is that many men go to war foolishly and without enough thought, they go to war because of their pride, their death as such can not be considered as an honourable one. No, the...

Most Men Pretend To Die Most men pretend to die to soothe their pride: And they roll'd beneath the mist with bayonets At the ready and on the grass they're now bits; Oh, to easy to believe with funerals so near. Yet there's Harry there and Patrick and More, They're fighting on the pitch like titans...