Poetry Forum

Thank you Eira - it is valuable to get thoughts from other writers as I try to bring this and other poems to their final state! I put some sort of rationale for the capitals in my reply to Jules but essentially it comes down to, on a poem for poem basis I see what feels and looks right for the conce...

Thank you Jules. It has been a while since I properly frequented this workshop and already I see the value of doing so again - one gets such different perspectives, it's not just about approval or criticism, though those are both so valuable in their own right. I agree that punctuation is very impor...

Stories from the Book of Sunset - a Qi Gong reflection Qi – life-force, breath, energy Gong – work, effort, exercise * Opening Stance Drawing The Bow Stretching The Back Wild Duck Swimming Dragon Flying Bird Spreading Its Wings Stretching The Abdomen Hawk Glaring Stretching The Waist Wild Goose Fly...

Hello capricorn, just clocking that I've enjoying reading this thread and hopefully will give some helpful notes when I'm next at a keyboard.

Cheers

Stuart

Thank you, Not. Yes could take some refinement. I see where you're going with some of the phrasing, I thought it was clever but actually it could be confusing. I worry about adding more imagery in though, as part of my brief was to make the poems accessible and more direct rather than impressionisti...

Hi I'm working on some poems informed by a Qi Gong form. So this is one of them, very much a first draft and recent, but I think it's okay so far, but could use some refinement. (Eventually it ought to be really refined and smooth while still having its intent... thanks. Stuart. Crane Dancing We tur...

Left in such a hurry Cried into my curry No time left to worry Went into the zoo Looking just for you Failed because you Were in a different cage With your different rage Distant by an age Of human science Teaching self reliance Refusing my compliance. No time left to worry Leaving in a hurry Crying...

These ghosts were in a
Group of a few
Hundred who were stranded

In the town, took shelter
In stone beach huts
But,

Ultimately,
Were buried along with
Their names.

Once, I wrote a bunch of some, which have not survived, but I remember four of them, so here they be, if anyone has any suggestions as to form and content... If chertibils grint at the skite When you swash at their 'bubs with a gyte, Then who cleans the libbins Attanched to their dibbins? And hown c...

Yeah I like this one a lot, would only ask if the commas can be presented in the "normal" way with a space after them - it makes for easier reading.

It sounds like a monologue by a priestess in a movie about Theseus, or something of that cinematic feel.

Cheers

Stuart

All in all I enjoyed the inversion. A couple of observations: - Although each verse (I find the word strophe pretentious!) ends with a long ee sound, the stress on those final words is different, eg the SEA; SHOULD be; WITH me; like to BE; PERfectly... I don't know if that matters to you or not but ...

Promise to pay some contributions back!! This is kind of a second first-draft... any views? Thanks Stuart The softness in the light * Brodie, she called herself, and there was this softness in her, a soft light - even though her hat was cruelly curved, her cheekbones cut right through me, and when I...

So, um, what date are we looking at again?

I'm asking because I've got job stuff to consider (promotion!) and my payday is weird so I will need to work out whether I've got the wherewithal (as a stereotypical skint poet) to attend...

Stuart

Eyes

Eyes are different
colours my eyes are
blue the middle part is
called the pupil it is like a
window and it lets in
light the coloured part
is called their is the
eye lashes stop dirt
coming

"Oh Mr Callin, it's awful"?

Stuart

Hi Bod Enjoyed the read. I hate the term " it flowed" but, um, it did. The rhythm of the lines and the diction made it work, for me. One or two typos. Your next edit will address that I'm sure, for the sake of precision. I didn't like the "name redacted" really - until the end, w...

Hi crew - rip it to pieces cheers so I can get it just right :) Cheers Stuart * Eloping I guess, your parents aren't best pleased. Well... Send them pictures; that crème fraiche dress in a swirl around the lariccio pine, us against the Corsican rock. “Wish you were here, but hey we saved you a packe...

Hi RC

Had a quick read - can't focus on a full response yet - enjoyed the energy though. Will delve deeper, for sure.

Cheers

Stuart

Hey, thanks viewers... not even sure if I've got the original any more - this was one of the herons last season that (all things taken relatively) didn't mind me getting a wee bit closer than expected. Still very nervy though. It flew up into that tree and I was shooting at about 135mm on an APS-C (...

http://www.manchesterliteraturefestival.co.uk/

Just a possible activities for some visiting peeps...

Stuart

I use 7 on my desktop and 10 on my laptop. After a couple of months getting used to it, I quite like 10. But I prefer 7.

Stuart

You lost me at dolphins have hayfever Sorry, this is making no sense at all. It seems to be a random collection of pseudo-profound phrasings. Ros So, poetry, then?! I took it at face value and as you say, a collection of images some of which were strong, and I quite liked some of the inverted langu...

Nice work ray, I consider you a benchmark In half-rhymes, And your witty treatments are pin-sharp Almost every time. Cheers from a grateful reader, Stuart Ryder She was regarded as the finest Regression Therapist in our district, claimed the roots of my midlife crisis could be unearthed in ancient h...

Great stuff! I love swans. Cheers for the read. Stuart Follow the swans to Iceland. Join the skein as it passes. The art is to wear black socks, stretch, flap in your carefully re-designed white quilt, snug-fit, neatly hiding your secret mode of flight. If one stares, stare back. Though there may be...

You can room at mine if need be stuart