Poetry Forum

Mike,

Welcome on board, this site has given me the confidence to dip my toe in the water and the feedback (to date!) has been very constructive / informative and supportive!

Mick

Ray, I had to look Clerihew up also! it was feedback from David that highlighted them! I am still learning the ropes and have no real history of poetry writing or education so even things like 'stanza' are new to me! As for your song lyrics - I'll give you a clue, it was the same band that were maki...

Writedis,

A very long read! but obviously in comparision to the subject matter which has been a hell of a battle!

Some really strong lines in here and the closing line is excellent.

Micl

Have you heard of Billy McGoo
head misshaped like a shoe.
Can you imagine the disgrace
of having laces on your face?


First attempt at one of these! thanks David I can have some fun with these

Mick

Dante,

Thanks for the great image!

Mick

Guys,

As per usual thanks for reading and feedback!

I have had a little tweak and feel it flows a little easier now?

Mick

David,

Excellent site, not sure I could write fiction on a par with the stuff on that site!

Mick

David,

That looks like fun - I'll give that a go!

I'd like to try some nonsense poems, can you recommend any sites?

Many thanks

Mick

Guys,

Not sure if this really works - I am obviously still a novice with structure etc!

All advice greatly received! - apart from give up!!!

Mick

Brighton The shock, the pain, head to Brighton The journey there full of dread. The sea was angry with me that day, I think she knew my plan. Her energy was too extreme, I stopped and reflected. Took a room to look into my soul, Somehow I found hope in that 8 by 5 cell. Now I exorcise these demons, ...

Tis me (Revised) 2 eyes that are sparkling blue, 1 nose that’s badly askew, 2 ears that appear slightly chewed, 1 mouth that’s perpetually rude. 2 arms that are gangly like twine, 2 legs that can’t dance in time, 1 heart that pumps thanks to red wine, 1 bottom to dispose of the grime. Tis me 2 eyes ...

Dante,

Another gem, the grim realities for some people!

The 'rich paper' is a great line also!

Mick

Enjoy the music,
as the flames lick the coffin,
now follow the light.

Galaxy,

I have come back to this to see your revision, but it is no where to be seen! please keep the last line in when you do, I really like that ending!

Mick

Great image and well written!

Mick

Liked this, could almost be tweaked to read to my two boys.

Mick

Nice little poem!

I wonder if I could use this as a chat up line?

Mick

Is all mental work,
surviving the daily toil,
all for some small change!

To grasp the instant
For a moment of pleasure,
we hold and embrace.

“Bones to make my bread!”
Cry the voices in my head,
guilt, heavy like lead.

Galaxy - chocolate! that reminds me of a certain river.....

JMS - pleased you enjoyed!

Mick

Guys,

As always many thanks for the feedback - hopefully the revised version works a little bit better?

Mick

And walk down the lane,
did you think I did not see,
the bloodied shovel?

Hither and thither
she makes me quiver all day.
Dump her tomorrow?

With a naughty grin
Uncle Tim leered at Betty,
Time to get my coat!