Poetry Forum

Raisin,

Yeah- I guess we have all experienced the 'fake' variety of smiles!

I absolutely loved the last bit..'bitch'!!

Great read, thanks,

Galaxy

Suzanne,

I love this poem!

Something I guess I can identify with too..

Thanks,

Galaxy

Lake,

That was a great read, liked the structure of it too especially the use of numbers!

I could also feel the loss..

Galaxy

Thank you Suzanne and Mick!!

Thanks also to all -for taking time to give me some very valuable and useful feedback!

Galaxy

I liked that 'deniable incompetence!'

Clever bit of writing, enjoyed the read

Thanks,

Galaxy

Thank you El!!

Glad you liked it!

Galaxy

Please come back, one day
Because you stole my best suit
There'll be hell to pay!

Mick,

Yuk!!! Very funny, enjoyed it

Galaxy

Arunansu,

Interesting! I have got some strange images running round in my mind at the moment about this one!! I enjoyed it!

Thanks,

Galaxy

Raisin,

I enjoyed the read, also the form of the poem itself!
I'm interested in learning about all the different forms of poems, I never realised there were so many different ways to write poetry, it's giving me some ideas and food for thought with future offerings....!!

Galaxy

Thanks all for reading the poem and your words of advice and encouragement! Mike, well spotted! I like how that reads.. Raisin, thanks for your help and advice on this, it reads much better with punctuation! I'm learning as I go along and I really appreciate any help or suggestions anyone can offer!...

Took the advice...did some major tweaking!!

Galaxy

Revision: The ever vengeful comeback queen, jealous, spiteful, maybe mean. She tossed her tainted, poisoned heart in to a bed of trampled red roses leaving the earth soiled and unclean. The always present wrath she showed, sadness and pain on all bestowed had grown, from a stormy sea of pain, that b...

Mick,

I enjoyed the imaginative description!!

Well done!

Galaxy

Hiya El,

Liked the title...I can see where you're coming from, I liked the randomness of the 7.37 bit!

It made me smile actually

Thanks

Galaxy

That was good fun Mick!

Put a smile on my face....thanks

Galaxy

Something to think about......

Difficult subject, however it does make you think..?

Galaxy

The bloodied shovel
Propped outside an old hovel
Who dares enter in?

Mick,

Mmmmmmmmm, chocolate!!

Brings back some memories!!

Galaxy

Dump her tomorrow
At the edge of the meadow
And walk down the lane

Elphin,

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem.

As a very new poet I have taken your comments on board and will work at my writing style and will hopefully develop ideas as I grow in experience.

Thanks,

Galaxy

I'm glad you enjoyed it Mick!

Thanks

Galaxy

Mick,

The last line makes a strong statement...
Another good one!!

Well done

Galaxy

Twilight (Revised) As the day merged with the night Blending with the white moonlight A solitary candle’s amber glow Memories of long ago Sitting on the threadbare chair Empty words no feelings there Your voice, devoid of tender tone The light switched on and I went home The rays of rainbow coloured...

I'm sitting listening to fireworks as I read this..
'Candle-lit wall of yesterday's mind' love that line!
Well done El,

Thanks,

Galaxy