Poetry Forum

Oops! All better!

I do the music and then write the lyrics around them so mostly it's just pretty words to go with the chords.

Cheers Brian.

Here be-eth the recording!

http://www.sendspace.com/file/xnjv3f

I've managed to get my hands on some better equipment so should sound slightly better than previous recordings of mine!

I really liked this! :D Some really good observations and some really eloquently put lines and concepts! "I have evolved away from heaven" was a peculiar line, as it highlighted the possible religious contexts of the poem, along with "You are as necessary as any God", and since p...

Cheers David, yes things have been pretty busy past few months, it's only now things have come to a standstill I've really had the time to get back into things, but on the bright side I've a lot of free time now to return to writing and reading! :D I did some Liederfor my final recital (only one Sch...

Here are the lyrics to a song that wrote yesterday/earlier today. I'm not sure what some of the chords are so I'll do my best, lol. Here goes: Intro: D D.ad4 D.ad9 Dmaj7sus4 D Verse 1 D Em7 In the future will we reminisce C A About this, about how it is D Em7 Will we look back at the things we said ...

This poem really makes me want to shake the speaker by the shoulders and scream in his/her face to STOP feeling sorry for themselves. Yes, the post-uni situation is shite. What? You didn't know that when you started the course? Get over it! I agree with Dave that that triumvirate of abstract misery...

I see what you're saying Dave. I was trying to be matter-of-fact, with the loneliness resolution and failure by introducing them as early concepts. I was going for a bleak theme, but not a dramatic one. If anything I was trying to convey apathy. I'm not sure I could write anything more of significan...

Cheers Ros, I'm pretty relieved I managed it :) (but also miffed that it's all over now) Yes indeed, it's bout job applications and not hearing back from them. I was wondering if anyone else felt the same daunting sensation when you let a letter drop into a post-box, but I'm glad it can be read diff...

Thanks for the comments guys. :) Haha, I meant filling, lol, thanks for spotting that Ray! :) I think perhaps I'll rethink rhetoric, it just sounded nice to me to be honest. :oops: The last line is just outlining that I don't trust my letters to get there and also reiterating s2l1 about resenting th...

Hey ho! Back on the recordings! This is a bit dreadful for a few reasons, One being that my mic gives a horrid feedback beep in the background, and because it's multitracked it causes a bit of dissonance...honest it's not just me singing flat...well it's mostly not me singing flat. The other reason ...

I loved the second poem. It's full of nostalgia and lost joy, and it resonates well (with me anyways). I'm slightly (supremely) adverse to the first though. I don't know how well that kind of stereotype will sit with other northerners but I read it with a sting. Not that I live in a fairy tale world...

I didn't mention the ornaments
For the sake of her, keeping face.
The Lladrós with the broken fingers,
Hardly indestructible, like faith.
These conditions; Living evaporation,
Like the many lonely breakfasts
In partially lit December mornings
Before work.

I love the length of each line, it punctuates the flow of the poem very nicely!

A lovely write.

Here's one of me from my graduation two weeks ago! (I got my 2:1 So I'm pretty relieved!)

Journal articles for wineries;
I just wince, forlorn. Release air.
Problems seem manageable after exhaling.

This was a lovely pun-filled read!

I wasn't sure what to make of the final stanza, but I loved the pace and oddly enough the character of the stairs, a little bit of a perv, but a loveable perv like a drunken uncle. Hmm, that sounds slightly wrong.

Anyway I enjoyed it pun for pun!

It's good to see a window open itself and letting everything out for a change. I feel its pain. Puntastic :lol: I like this. I think it tells a lot in a short space, which is a real art! :D In this stanza "yearning for a baggy-boy to simply evolve -" The eye plays a little trick and I ini...

A colonial Heaney type of vibe! "Digging", "The follower"? I get the impression of a well-healed young lady watching a villager at his daily toil (a colonial past) perhaps with a sense of guilt? The final verse gave me that impression, the narrator feeling the need to sip from t...

I pretend it's you.
I know you don't really care.
I'll just make believe.

Posting Letters I left with a sense of self completion That one can only gain from loneliness, Resolution and failure. The lessons are over. Life goes on, unrelenting, without alternative. I pass the time by filling envelopes: Applications; forced hands clasped and knees bent. And what about the th...

16/06/09

The streets have become empty and silent.
Familiar music sounds slower to me now.
Thunderstorms watch over me as I sleep.
The doctor said I have a violent temperature.
Actually I think she was a nurse.
Actually I think she was a sarcastic bitch.

k-j wrote:Plundered from rich old generals?
Remorseful grandchildren loped
shamefacedly over the cornfields.

Shamefacedly over the cornfields
Slides a menace. Hold the Rev. off; Cherry
red with anger. A sinister minister.

(That was really hard too! )

13/6/09 I've hated being here. Living here has been hell. They have tried to take so much from me. It's scary because, I don't know if they have or not. I'll eventually find out when I get back to my life, whether I'm still all there. I came here looking for a do-over. A clean slate. Why do I now cr...

Thanks Ray

I'll have a think about that!

I'm inviting comments :D I'm not sure what you mean though Ben :? Here's today's: People love to talk about themselves. For most people it is their only interest. They'll take any chance they're given (and some that they aren't) And they'll tell you things you never asked to hear. If I ever have chi...