Poetry Forum

Very nice, og. Can't find anything to complain about! I think this is superb. Really A great poem Great poem, brilliant last verse. A polished piece (Boom Boom!) I can't believe you lot. You really love each other, don't you ! This is an Ok poem, nothing more. Believe me ! The rhyme and strict metr...

I thought this was excellent -a stream of consciousness as buoyant as poostick on a fast river. Wistful with just enough cynicism to balance it towards the end and the image of the towel seesawing through her legs was almost 3d. I wouldn't nitpick this one. It works fine for me as it is.

David. Thanks for that. I didn't realise. There seems little point in deleting the poem and leaving the comments naked. I won't delete them for now as this preciousness may have opened a debate to the benefit of others. Below is how I have answered an internal communication from Elph which may help:...

NOTE TO MODERATORS: Can you now remove this poem please and also PARAGLIDERS. I'll submit another problem poem shortly but I don't want these left hanging there.

"I normally go by what sounds good when you say it aloud" - that's a very good rule of thumb and when you think about it the cadences of speech are predominately composed of iambi (though often with two, sometimes three, unstressed syllables per foot) unless you use sprung rhythm as in exp...

Here's a belated tip which has often worked for me. Google a painting which you like or one that intrigues you, an Old Master maybe, and simply describe it in words - the colours, the narrative, maybe the brushstrokes - very often a tangential idea sparks or evolves and eventually you have a poem wh...

Ted Kooser - well he's very accessible - you don't have to read his poems twice, do you ? And I can't decide whether that's a plus or a minus or whether it matters.

I have read some of these. To me they're not poems, they're word games. I just cannot see the point in writing in this way. Why use these strait jackets ? Why self-impose such draconian restraints ? I just don't understand it. But then, that's me.

This works very well indeed. Beautifully balanced and I particularly like the enjambements which encourage the poem to flow seamlessly. We're invited to share the tension between this couple but there's no sense of voyeurism. And it's almost devoid of cumbersome adjectives and other poetic devises w...

Thanks everyone. "Or you could look at the night sky as the black tunnel with the moon as the mouth of it" - that's the idea I was striving for. The mood as the mouth of tunnel in the night. It's interesting that no one liked the third stanza because I substituted ''my hand' with 'our love...

or did he mean risqué contemporary verse ?

I actually prefer Concrete. The Forward prize winner above reads like pretentious designer prose breaking its neck to embrace modern trend culture. It has no integrity to my mind but is written in a style favoured by the poetry alumni at the moment but how long is the moment. I favour Polonius' advi...

Sadly a lot of people will read this and get something from it but is it the way forward for serious poetry ?

I really like this poem and it's actually about something which matters. It's got palpable vitality and integrity. Full of heart. It's somewhat dysfunctional (which I like ) but too loose in places (which I don't). Some suggestions are offered which may improve it or may not. Let's explore a way a d...

The storm clouds thunderhead down river, clouds can't 'immerse' the peddlar can they ? That's not quite the right meaning . immerse the peddler as he hawks his moveable type around the town. if you're hawking something it must be moveable so you don't need the word Few now have need of him, where pr...

Fortunately, Ben, it's not the best that Wales can offer but it certainly reflects on the judging which is relevant to this thread.

Yes, I forgot to mention that many are shortlisted by a inhouse panel. Ros, you've challenged me to post the Welsh Poetry Competition Winner 2007. The same judge, and I quote 'judged by famous Welsh writer John Evans' , was retained to judge the 2008 com too. I didn't enter. Check out the comp here ...

Disconcerting, smooth unmoving skin, mouth permanently smiling like holding a conversation with a mannequin's kin. Her mouth was the only thing that moved: vertically, a complex trick of pulleys and string. We talked about: nothing her eyes fixed and watching her husband slowly dancing with the late...

I quite liked the verve and bravery of this poem. It canters along at a comfortable pace. Yes, it is a little overlong but the narrative insists you finish it. It would be more effective if the use of language was more imaginative in places and the preface is an unnecessary distraction. It could als...

A great performance piece - luv'd it !

I'm all for innovation but for me this is trying a bit too hard. It reminds me of a thought association test and that's about it. Sorry.

Nigel

If you want my twopennth here for what it's worth I think you have to treat competitions like entering a raffle no matter how good your stuff is. If it's good in theory you've got a better chance than low grade poetry BUT it's all down to the judge's predilections on the day. A while back I was cont...

Many thanks to you all for your comments which I have found most useful. I do appreciate the valuable writing time you have given up to make your critiques. Paragliders has clearer air now.

paragliders