Poetry Forum

Wow, my first read back on these forums for quite sometime and a fitting reintroduction, thoroughly enjoyed the deep dark images here,look forward to reading more of your stuff, thanks

Thanks for your comments,I like poems that rhyme,I know its not everybody's cup of tea.However I am always open to your kind crits,many thanks

Balls of light abound from mars,
comets fire destroy cars.
Lights now flicker,
windows break.
A far off rumble turns to quake.

Seas now rise from calm to squall,
mother natures mercy call.
the path is chosen, the dye is cast,
The boat is holed,we're sinking fast.

Jackie Thank you! I really enjoyed this read, I got a real sense of the moment.
I'll leave the fine tuning advice to better sources than myself, it's a thumbs up from me


backinblack.

Hodgepodge, I think there's some great talent in you waiting to be unleashed, the idea you have here is a very good one. The format is a bit muddled but there are great ideas in there. You will learn to form your writing much better if you take on board the helpful advice you get here. Look forward ...

Hi again David, I like the idea you have here, would be well worth expanding the theme to a longer piece which I'd love to read.
reminds me of something I wrote a while back called satellite street,thanks for the read..BinB.

Hi David, An interesting read short sharp and enjoyed, I like it, Thanks..Mr B.

Ripples cast on mirror glass,
frequencies of ocean.
Solar flares upon the waves,
a million cast each motion.

Flotsam and jetsam come ashore,
to free their heads of sand.
Dusting off their salt-coats,
to test sealegs on land.

Ello ello Nar, I'm in awe of your development mate the above is a damn fine write in my view.
Reminds me of one of those songs you hear on the radio that you hate but find yourself singing/humming all day lol


Anyways much enjoyed:)

BinB.

Ah me old friend Lovely!! not lost any of your skills while I've been away:)I was a fan of Gary Moore myself, very sad loss captured well here, emotional read.

Thanks bud.

BinB.

Dante, I have been away a while and missed writes like this, visual and descriptive as always, much enjoyed.
I see you have lost none of your flavour.

Backinblack.

Sneaker, I really loved your opening, first 3 lines in S1 are tops for me, very descriptive.
Overall highly enjoyed,thanks.

BinB.

Mate, long time no read! lol sorry how's it going?
Lost none of our wit i'm pleased to see, enjoyed it a lot Neil and really liked the format too.
good write mate,keep it up.

Backinblack.

Guys, thanks for taking the time to read this and give your views.
Been way too busy of late to write but dipping the toe in again.
The morph word fitted for me as i didn't visualise gypsy as a being of matter, more of an energy.

many thanks

BinB.

Nice visuals as always, good to read you again.

BinB.

Gypsy morphs his hand to mask his face in moonlight, a costume change for well worn travellers clothes. A lunar lit highway of dimensions, a road that only mystic see-ers know. Trails blazed by great minds long before them, pin-holes of knowledge overflow. Free flight's the only way to travel, open ...

We set off early,to avoid the rush hour, which now seemed to our folly. Our excitement had sheered a fan belt, the tailback lashed us hard. Now quite used to this charade, since the air miles had run dry. Single lane for next ten miles, delays at junction five. The wife's no sense of direction, the ...

Hi, I loved it, a real heart felt piece,Some good lines and a really nice pace too.
It flows really well and I can tell it means alot to you, great write for me.
thanks.

BinB.

Hi there , a really good write IMHO, very vivid and visual.
Some very nice lines in there too.
Greatly enjoyed.
thanks.

Binb.

Hi,I really liked this, it had a dreamy and grief filled feel to it, was she dreaming of someone she'd lost?
I feel sorrow in there for sure, anyway vivid and very much enjoyed.
Thanks for the read.

Binb.

Hi, hey man this is good , I sense a parting or goodbye was to happen here?
That's the feel I got at least,Maybe the weather made me feel that but really good.
Loved it.

BinB.

Hi mate, I feel you on this one,really liked it. I think you hit on the mood well,very good format too. weddings eh? cheaper buying a rope! We've all been there,I've got an uncle who always catches a bit of the old saturday night fever at family do's. It's a red neck! :oops: A great write dude,thank...

Heavy air hung sand filled, a veil for distant dunes. Behind the guise of matter, in the notes of mystic tunes. Waters clear and energized, a force of immeasurable power. Lapping waters hypnotize, each minute turns to hour. Her shorelines hug her tenderly, sands so brilliant,pure and bright. A colos...

Lovely- Thanks for the kind words and yes i have started a few,been busy with work lately but i reckon there's a few writes in there dying to get out. hopefully i'll finish em soon. Ray- thanks for reading I'm glad you got something out of it. I hear you on the big whitey line, I was thinking who wo...

Hi, it amazes me! how do you come up with this stuff?
I found this really vivid and serne in the vibe it gives off.
some really nice visuals in there,is sounds like the kind of place i'd like to see.
don't know why, but the opening reminded me of the game tomb raider!
Loved it,thanks.

BinB.