Poetry Forum

I think, at its highest, poetry, like any other art, is an expression of or, at least, a hunt after the self. Obviously most of the poetry that is written today is merely a dilution of Larkin, Hughes, Heaney, Plath etc. but there have, in the past, at least, been individuals (Shakespeare, Walt Whitm...

Hi David and Sharra, thanks for the responses. The first line has clearly caused problems. The vase has held daffodils in the past, though obviously they were cut-flowers, so not living. A gruesome decoration, when you think about it. That's really the 'point' of the poem as I intended it. Blaze is ...

Yellow has never lived in you. A blaze of petals are withering to ash in your shadow and the moon shows them up: two cracks, running down from the fluted neck to that round, insistent stomach, that may split you half-wise, like an egg. .......................... Spill your prize. I'll stand you up ...

Hi Camus, this worked pretty well for me. It may not be the waste-land but it never imagined it was. Bloodandbrokenglass is very cool and necessary. I like the bit about the playground wound and holding back tears, that rang true. Not totally sold on progressed like cress; its the sonics of it that ...

Hi David, thanks for having a look. I like sonnets that don't announce themselves too ceremoniously, so that's what I've gone for here. As for the punctuation and stuff, Brian has offered an explanation that is satisfactory in its own way, though not consciously intended. The point behind it, in my ...

often ends up wet,
often ends up dissolving
slow into seldom.

Hello all, thanks for your comments. Brian, I really appreciate the time you must have spent playing around with this. Believe it or not, it's meant to be a sonnet! One of my first so I imagine the meter's a bit off in places but I think I got the arms and legs in the right place. What I like most a...

always wanting more
the amateur fisherman
often ends up wet!

Receiver of daylights and strange fragments( erased by evening); blade to prick the neck of hollows with their general ideas ; girlhands that wind Erato's hair with gems: I offer you my widest open space to burn projections, dissipate the black -ened shapes wingbeating thought - grotesquities that ...

Hi Elphin, loving your work! I'm still thinking about the first part of the poem, the significance of your definitions; I'm not sure I fully grasp them all but they interest me and they're fun to think about. Visually you're poem appeals instantly; it's got that 'jump off the page' quality: it knows...

Hi everyone, thanks for all the helpful input, sorry I'm a bit late back to this one. Ray, I think I agree with you about the 'honey pools', which others have liked. Dilemna!! And Elphin, thanks for your critique. I think what I might do is bring the whole thing into one and tidy up the middle secti...

Arthur Rimbaud. (of course!)

Hi Jasper, when you look at it, it's only really two stanzas have been played around with. I don't want to say too much but there is a purpose behind it; I can promise you, this wasn't written as an attempt at 'showiness' or to impress, but to grasp a whole experience. I have tried to show faith in ...

Hi David, not Alasdair (un)fortunately, not as many grey hairs! Arthur, actually, named after my grandad (who wasn't a Frenchman!) Yes, I am at least all of the 'f's you mention. I don't sit down and say; "I'm gonna do something funky here" but I do find myself playing around with form, so...

Aww thank you, miss lovely, for your cuddly response.

First one in 'the new site' won't leave a mark (but in a good way!)

Hi Stuart, I like this piece, nice and controlled. I half expected the older woman to be the one less shaken! though you're saying something else here. I did think that 'their tits proud' was unnecessary after having said 'topless'. You've given us tits, you could add something more about the women,...

Revision Above the talk, indigo night cools us enough to acquiesce, our knife edge blunted on language. Musics ripple wide ochre-lit pools of sound (jingling glass, crushed pebble) and we -- no ..... skip- .. s ............... S ................. splish-spla -Dooms, ... torn up, ...... dis ............

Hello Elphin, I'm quite new to the site, just been having a look around and this poem caught my attention. I have to say, I prefer the original but both have their strong points. You've got a lot of valuable comments so I'll just chime in to say I like the subtle assonance and soft meter and very mu...