Poetry Forum

Many thanks for all your comments, which are very encouraging. As a few people have queried "excision", the gloss on that is that it's a play on excise, part of the duty, customs theme, "seeking some greater excision" meaning trying to maximise revenue, but also means cutting som...

At work in the Customs House we have trophies of the sea: a lost chronometer, ship's wheel, a floating compass and even a siren figurehead; our little sky is hung with safety nets, dry wrack and shells, such as the sea has left us. For my part, I observe the inward and outward traffic of goods, and ...

I found this worked really well in places. The opening line has a lot going for it, in terms of imagery, but I don't know why it's in note form, Ie missing the subject, presumably "you", which we do get in the second line. Also, there is something not quite right about having the plurality...