Poetry Forum

Hello, thanks for looking. - yes another deep peom from me! Would welcome feedback on the structure and content so feel free to give honest feedback. The Other You Will you like me if I dye my hair? Will you like me if I walk with flair? Will you like me if I get a tan? Does it matter if it’s from a...

Hi Aru, I thought I'd comment as you have been kind enough to comment on 2 of mine. I agree with a previous post that it could benefit from flowing better if read aloud, but the foundation is sound - it has a subtlety and sensitivity which appealing which a more structure undulation I think would en...

thank you very much for the feedback both, useful insights I shall look into and see where I can tweak the peom.

Interesting thread - maybe reverse the lines to add that twist?

stand we together
fall we divided..

How about ending with knocking on the door, but the echo in the hall, told me you were out. )

I thought this was lovely - it has a dreamy quality which always ticks a box for me, and great touches like leaves being fabric "spun with a mother's mind".

Hi - thanks for taking a look at this post, would appretiate thoughts on this poem. It is constructed from the common names of various mushrooms (ok, bit early in the season I know), it's not as technically advanced as a lot of poems I see posted on here but and is aimed I guess at a younger audienc...

Many thanks for the feedback Patrick, I might give it a couple of alternative endings.

It would be good to see what others think.

Hi all - would appretiate some feedback on what you think of this poem - thanks. In The Wasteland Of Your Soul “In the wasteland of your soul you will find your salvation” Said the ancient ones in a dream. Take the years and let them unfold your pain, Catch the river in full flood – the time is now,...

Nice poem Mic, short and sweet!