Poetry Forum

I’d like to join in the chorus of thanks. I first registered here in 2009 and found the camaraderie and quality of writing second to none. And I made a number of friends who I’m still in touch with via social media - indeed it was David who gave me the heads up via Facebook that the forum in its exi...

Hi Peter and thanks. I'm saying "...the pond, clouded with lilies and carp concealing..." but perhaps it's not coming across like that. Will think about it. The cows are poaching the field -poaching being the term used when a muddy field has livestock on it - it becomes poached. Hope these...

A sleight of blue crossing a dark pool clouded with lilies, carp concealing, overhung by hawthorn and birch? Perhaps where a quiet river curls gently through a cow poached meadow seeking the slow death of an oxbow lake? Or maybe captured in a house of marbles hanging on a cord to dive forever over g...

Thank you B (if I may call you that).

My original thought was that it was good to have the odd juxtaposition - the weirdness introduced a fairy tale quality...

Cheers
Marc

Thanks David and K-J

Yes, I'm not sure the whole poem doesn't just exist for the quackophany gag!

Ok, I'll send the Woodcutter Dwarf back to his cave in the mountains and concentrate on my upcoming periodical Jane's Ducks...

Thanks

Marc

Thanks - yes I can see your points, it's not quite working as it is. It's actually a description of my near neighbours (sshh...) - the woodcutter goes off in his truck each day and comes back with a load of logs which he stores for fulfilling orders - as is a woodcutter's modus operandii... however ...

Who knows how many ducks Jane has now? You might say they're a moveable feast. She started attracting waterfowl when her husband flew off to the East. She enlarged the pond, widened the leat and wild Mallards were soon crashing in disconcerting the tremulous coots. Now she has Muscovies, Teal, Manda...

Thanks very much - greatly appreciated!

(Sorry I've not been here for a while... busy busy etc)

BW

Marc

Cragside was the first
to have waterfalls of clear
illumination.

Thanks Cynwulf, appreciated.

My glowing pink skin belies me and I know that glint in your eye: you're thinking we might go to bed? Would you feel the same if I was pea-pod green instead? Before the bang and the ringing bells that chimed us from cave into sunlight: that's how I was - and my brother too. Ah, yes, you know me now?...

dancing to the beat
-ing up of poets who use
enjambment too much

Thanks Ian - valid point: have addressed,
Cheers,

Marc

Thanks all - valid comments. Will think about the full stops and amend. Also the pronoun issue - good call. (Now edited thanks) Re rooks and crows - K.J, you're right: rooks are a member of the crow family - but differ from the carrion crow (usually just called a crow). Rooks have a bigger beak, whi...

Edited: I found a frozen lizard on my walk at the red mud edge of a Devon lane. Intact and unspotted by crows and rooks, lying hidden and dirty by the drain. Bending down I saw life might yet exist, stunned to stillness by unexpected chill. I curled my hand around it, stuffed my fist into my coat an...

Just catching up with PG posts! ( Been absent too long...)

Many thanks


Marc

Well done Seth - and well deserved!

Marc

Just spotted this!
Thanks all v much,



Marc

Enjoyed this - no real nits from me


Marc

And I like this poem Mic


Marc

Thanks Steamboats - I've already amended that line as it was too clichéd really... hopefully now better

Thanks

Marc

Thanks - and yes I think you're right. Various edits now follow including ending as you propose,

BW
Marc

Slip my luminescence and you will find other light. You may thrill with the beating of day bird wings in flight. Still, please notice the flatness of the midday sun, how as afternoon progresses a sharper vision comes. See the Earth's relief, the movement of terrain and know that brighter lights may ...

One more blade slides in.
The knife thrower's assistant
takes another breath

Thanks Suzanne

Marc