Poetry Forum

Huddled, wretched, he queued for lunch, gazing at his scruffy pumps ignored the shoves, ignored the screeches ignored the jibes and the kicks and the thumps He pretended not to notice Tomkins spitting on his back or the sweaty, acned teenage girl who encouraged the attack He trudged his way around t...

Hello all - ashamed to say it's been a long time, although I have dipped in from time to time to read others. Not winning the newcomers competition within the first two months dented my ego so terribly.....I have recovered however, and feel ready to re-establish myself as the finest council electric...

Sharra - thanks for the points you raised. I had to look up enjambment, but understand now. I usually feel safer with end stops (they were on the same page that explained enjambment), but will definitely give it a go. Inspired by some of the more metaphorical-leaning (no idea if that's English or no...

Another good'un Zoot -

'Ask about all things galvanic,
With self taught weekend mechanic'

Inspired. Thanks for posting.

Zoot, really nice imagery here. Love the last two stanzas, so very true – I felt I was there. I like this kind of poetry, it’s both accessible and memorable for the reader. Something you can recite to yourself when crammed on the underground looking up someone’s sweaty armpit…. Thanks very much, loo...

Tool, Danté,TwoLeftFeet,Brahms and Zoot -thanks for critting this one. Take your various points, I will try and approach this one differently and give it a rework when I get a moment or three. Thanks very much for reading again.

I envy your natrual talent. Nuff said. Thanks.

Safe within, this life unexamined Shrouded by a mother’s love Held aloft from grief, spite, unworthy pursuit Barricaded from deceit, pride and good intentions Cradled by the womb, a stranger even to hate – just for now Deep within, this life begins to stir - begins it’s greatest struggle Toes curlin...

Lots to think on here. I liked the use of words, and felt there was a comment somewhere on Capitalist China emerging from the old communist state, but struggled with much of it. How far of the mark am I?

Thanks for posting, promise to re-read.

Lovely - another poem my green poetry mind can't decipher properly, but another poem that I just like. Methinks you may be unknowable like the sea......Thanks Lovely

Arian, I had to laugh when I read your comments. My grasp on this fine language is tentative at best, and these errors will creep in - but your keen eye was right, of course. It was quite a personal poem, but now I have a picture in my head of our local clerk of works gravely rubbing his chin, whils...

of a garden
he spoke of and pined
green fingers itching

Brahms, I hope this isn't drawn too much from your own life - that would be unbearably sad. I like how you've used the unbreakable glass partition and it's different forms.

'Even the Alps in the air were muffled' threw me a bit, but I'm going to re-read it. Thanks for posting - enjoyed.

You posted you explanation as I was typing. Makes me out a right dimmer - still, I think I enjoyed my interpretation just as much!

A nice piece for me to ponder on, sir. I also looked up 'Oestrus', and formed some sort of picture. I made a connection with 'black underneath fingernails' and thought of dirty hands, and 'spanners out of his reach' to perhaps mean an unwanted pregnancy on his part? It's a bit of a minefield, this i...

Thanks very much for the comments - they are truly appreciated. Brahms, thanks very much - I did have some individuals in mind when writing the poem, but I didn't want to over-explain who they were in case it narrowed the meaning for the reader. I wanted to concentrate on expressing the futility of ...

I've read this through twice, Lovely - I enjoyed your heartfelt words, no hint of calculation or incincerity. Constantly aluding to spiritual matters, without spelling them out. Subjective? Yes. Particularly Liked: 'more pure the angels than a man but (more unwise) they sit' and 'but wisdom gathers ...

They puzzle over it – faces tight, twisted, screwed suppressing ugly smiles with uglier smirks Feigning concern for me, they list your faults – chapter and verse Dead eyes roll to each other, speaking in tongues an orgy of advice and council They have never loved! I begin to smile, and they are as w...

Like most poetry I read here, I'm not always sure how to interpret it, but in the words of Monty Python, 'I know what I like'. Googled Banyan - think you're refering to a fig tree, which would work. Is there a deliberate link to the title and: 'everyday, Sharon Stone throws open the door to honeycom...

Left me happier for reading - I'm not a fan of too long a poem, I often find them a little meaty and hard to digest . This was just right (as Godilocks said) for a Tuesday evening, preparing to wind down. I felt it had slightly erotic undertones, but that could just be the uneducated oaf in me readi...

I wrote this one a while back, during the anniversary of the WW1. This is the great thing about posting here, as I re-read the piece, and it found it could easily be a car crash. Funny how it had never occured to me before. It demonstrates just how subjective is old game can be.... Thanks for the ki...

In My Hair Mixed with soil, mixed with rain Your blood is in my hair The air is dead but wailers still wail And your blood is in my hair I choke, but breathe – I hope but don’t believe Your blood is in my hair He carries me - shouting, stumbling – not knowing That your blood is in my hair Sergeant t...

Can only echo previous sentiments. I also liked the feel, although the last portion left me a little troubled. Nice one.

Can't add much to the above, apart from blimey...clever - really clever. I will look up and give him a wink from my own little crag. Thanks.

A nice read. Anyone feeling the years a'knocking or with a bit of baggage will get this straight away. I agree with the previous post that the 'moral impurities' are ambiguous, but it didn't lessen my enjoyment.