Poetry Forum

ah sorry for the bad syntax, spelling, grammar in the last post a reply; i am awful tired!!

Right on
Bloody brillig!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to let my son have a copy if i may?
His is 16 and political; but on saturday afternoons when he was 7,8,9, 10 this place was somewhere to go; he was a chorister in london and saturdays were time out (literally).

The watery quality? Yes its very strong. The consensus, the love, even perhaps the desire for the she of this work.

dressed scenery of houses, trees, houses, and the river
Its distractions

Is there a need to mention houses twice in one line I wonder?

I like it very much

Learn how to say goodbye! I was always telling him, after tears, arguments, violent scenes! Oh the times I threw him out by the scruff of his neck! I would say to him, will you just learn HOW to say goodbye! Death is my great grand teacher he approaches a bit at a time. Sidling unwelcome intruder! B...

Wish it was his and not her mind; ah there. Lovely and loud in a controlled and ordered sort of way. Newish and fresh. loved this

well it is original, bold as brass, and i love the repeat patterns; the prosody is great and its nice and complex. lorraine

Many thanks to all for the comments. Peter, me think you pompous? My dear man I never thought about you for one slither of a second. You love your punctuation. Live happily with it while the rest of us go our own way. Oh and Peter love is always a big deal; say didn't you know that? cheers lorraine

She'd say to me, when I was her baby Time and time again, Oh my Penny. Oh my Penny It was like a lament for our looming trouble Or a fresh bruise we might hit on in a big world She was my mother and it was her and me Together, she assured me, we could succeed And if I was diminutive she was ever so ...

Beautiful. Everybody would say so and a nice shape too; very sound. Very true.

Brilliant. All animals will love this technicalities aside; kick them aside. Its great

Hail-a love you be the word. You be the unsoundable, uncompoundable, Deep tonality and you shall distessful With a single sacred word. Song me. Song me on Sundays in the Cathedral Or song me when I ambles down the Commercial Road But song me Hail-a. Songs me until I streps before you On bended beat ...

The criticisms by Peter are far from gentle; they are pompous.

This piece was published a couple of years ago in another country; i won a big dish for it which i dumped on the way to the airport. WKR

Awesome; love love loved it and i dont love much that's for sure; its got the feel of music; or paint; it is absolutely fab; run with it ( the wind at your back); enthused; lorraine

I liked it but it is perhaps rather trite; or presumptive/presumptious in its central tenet; i.e. that the womb is a safe loving place. I guess i am saying that it is a little conventional for me in its treatment of the subject matter and too predictable; However, many would love it; they would live...

The interference is minimal and I feel excessively good. In the East End In between Bethnal Green and Liverpool Street, he says, "You wanna leaflet sister?" Shoving it in my face. Expressionless countenance Look of tight-lipped alarm Evangelical shoots from the elbow. I say no politely and...

Dante speaks too eloquently for me to contradict a single word; WKR

I found the title too mysterious and the poem seems to have quite a few grammatical errors in it too. It is long and did not really hold my interest; sorry;

I do not think, hope Fret, worry, plan or pine I soldier on I do not dream In this land of the dying I soldier on One scummy boot in front of the other Following the blood smell left behind From those high commands Enfeebled friends of mine collapsed piteously Some were scared and screamed through f...

Lovely however perhaps too long? I thought the 2nd, 4th 5th and last verses could do it; I think that we should try to cut out too much narrative in poetry; I wonder who she was; what was her name? Also it could be a story too i.e. a short story.

I like it; but the 1st verse begins by urging us to hear the night but then talks little if at all about it's sound(s); the 2nd verse seems to focus on geography using the word "here" the night and i liked the 2nd verse more; it was tight and kept on track; the 1st verse perhaps wandered f...

I said, I know cats. They come and they go or they stay with you for five Maybe ten years and then one day you’re looking for them but they don’t show And never return. They take you for a fool. A mother. A carer. The hand that feeds. So I said to this cat, no this time there will be no cat flap. No...

I wonder why you used rhyme here? Sometimes, perhaps it takes over and the meaning may become pat or almost sentimentalised; the polarisation between innocence and cruelty and the need for the former to prevail seems to be the "argument" here; but forgive me, isn't that too simplistic? It ...

All lifelong between me and love there was this glass partition It was a camera, closed circuit A computer, the screen The spectacles we hid behind Or those small windows at home And inside of myself, an impenetrable wall. We went to places then hid behind cameras Oh all the journeys we took! Just s...

I liked this poem a lot; it is accessible and is tangible; like something you could hold in your hands and say yes I can do with some of this; you written something which has a lovely clarity; rather than an obscure hard to comprehend piece of writing and its awesome. I imagined that the "harsh...

The "atmosphere" within this poem is beautiful; it does what - it seems to me - many strong pieces of writing do and that is to affect and change your mood as you are reading it; I thought the following quote from the poem was particularly lovely, "Not a breath nor a gaze nor the soun...