Poetry Forum

Thanks, David. This wasn't the best one to start out with but because it needed so much work, maybe it was!

A delightful read. She sounds like a blabbermouth.

I would suggest maybe losing the end line.

I like the title but you could always go with

"you can quote me on this" that would sure
draw my interest.

Thank you both. Sorry to be so late in getting back. I kept going to the wrong forum. Yes, I meant literally naked and warm, not emotionally. suet is bird food. I'm at somewhat of a loss on how to explain this. It sounds stupid to say "seek means to seek" Let me think on all of the comment...

Hi, Did you mean to rhyme travel/unravel in that opening stanza? "story endings" I think sounds better. Could just be my ear. Here" "and wait here for the next beginning" I don't think you need "here" as we already know where you are. Why is "with Dad" in...

What does 0943 mean?

Not every animal eats another. Many growl only to seek another sound. I feel an affinity for every creature. What I love most is their wink. It says goodbye, goodnight, hello, you're wonderful, thank you for the suet, the straw. They remind me how a naked body can stay warm. One day a raccoon came c...

Hi, The only thing that jumped out at me with this (and perhaps my upbringing) is a miracle to me, could never be minor. Any miracle is in itself extraordinary. So I wondered if "minor" seemed almost a contradiction. I imagined someone saying.."well, it was only a small miracle" ...

Thank you for the welcome. I'll look for your revision!

I am unfamiliar with this form. Have never heard of it.
Is it like Haiku? I quickly picked up on the nature
and somewhat spiritual feeling of this and I love
the sour/bees.

Hi, do you mean this is your first poem you've written, or the first one posted here? In any case, I have just a couple of suggestions for you. I think it would be helped greatly without giving a huge dose of thought. Such as "should I even care?" because the reader is going to be drawn in...

micronometer
can you measure my thought life
the edges of each

Reading the first stanza, since I didn't know the location was a bar/cafe just yet, could have been a veranda, or a lonely stretch of beach, when I got to "the paper" it threw me and then the image slowly came into view for me. two "circles" in this one, intentional? A nice touch...

Ros, Thank you!

Hello,

Reading some of the fine work here.
No nits from me on this one. Very fresh
and engaging.

Hi, I'm glad to be here. Thanks again for helping me get registered.