Poetry Forum

Yup, interesting! I like reading these......

thanks Suzanne!
Thanks for posting this John I didn't get round to it and it's nice to see it here!

Nice to meet you GiantR! Nice name.
Megan

Thanks Mic. It was surprisingly easy to get out of the house, which doesn't then live up to the notion of its "grip", making the rest of the poem a bit of an afterthought perhaps.
I'll change the collective frostbite.

Mic wrote:risks

Definitely find myself posting less developed things these days.

Enjoying this Ben...... The wintry poems are upon us. I particularly like your sentence structures in the first and final stanzas. These two lines in my opinion are weaker than the rest: as poplars screech and crack beneath the weight. and Go ask the lake for food that we may eat, Lacking in complex...

v3 Open the drawer, inside are cable ties used for flowers at pedestrian crossings. Hit the mattress with a plank to release a shape from the hollow (where he laid out his penis colder than a crowbar his penis that might at any moment release spores.) You have to leave your body slumped there and ge...

Hi there Antcliff I would have liked to read this without DT's moon cherub face in my mind - all sullen boy-man cheeks - I feel so sentimental about him and I can't work out if I would feel the same about your poem without that reference. "We littles" - oh God, it's so sentimental I love i...

What a brilliant effort! I've got Tender Buttons somewhere, to go back to - - But this is heaven to read. Thanks.

It's not like we have a polished gem - have you guys not got drafts you could post? But that would be ignoring the Competition aspect of things. That's a suggestion.

I can't wait to see the results! Me and John are going to post something aren't we John?

the previous unprofitable year cold around my leg like a manacle. That's really Christmas Carol. It adds to the very Christmassey feeling I get from this - the frosty bridge, Narnia - without contradicting Easter somehow. Interesting comment about the combination of prosaic asides with the poetic: ...

Great. thanks. Quite right about the I's, how did I not see that!

JohnLott wrote:who are Glen and Matthew Allen - should I know them?

No!

Yes. No. Yes, I was agreeing with you in a way that sounded argumentative, just to add to the confusion. And to pile it on, here goes, re: the couplets, I had a vague understanding that in the classic elegiac couplet the first line is longer than the second. So reversing that symbolised the role rev...

Really? Thanks! Trying to get punct. just right now.

Yes! "warn
Adam about believing women"

I think Geoff's got it perfect.

Oh my god. Brian you are unbelievable.
I thought maybe you'd been in a breakdancing troupe together in the past though it seemed unlikely.
Good task too!

Ah, sorry. The over-excitement was all mine.

Mr Bod.
Nothing is happening when I click on......"right here"
Is it s'posed to?

Yes sire. Doesn't it have to be mo' bread then too?

Hi Ryan - haven't read the whole thread so just to say, I prefer your original version with the shrub - because that slight stumble in the rhythm is welcome for me - like a sob - oh! Talking of which, I'm not enormously keen on the title. I like the poem a lot though by the way. So in your edit you ...

christmas? Do I have to google? really? Is this a tribute to someone? Anyway never mind all the questions. I like it, except I read apostrophes like this: "Mo' bling than kings." as archaic ommissions, because I'm.....British, and then I wonder what Morbling is, but I think I can, you know...

v2 The first time I asked her out she was in the Leisure Centre with an ex, that’s why she said “Piss off”. But she said it politely, so I studied her in Geography, I made maps. I crossed the river to her house and fell in: she had to lend me her Dad’s clothes. The wedding took place locally, she w...

Who or what are you?! This is definitely fun - lots of surprises - like the Madejski stadium outside Reading gaol...Time-travelling? It's overwritten in places I think - like I love this line: Pleasure was silence, potatoes, leeks and flowers. But I'd prefer it without the 'silence', letting me work...

David - thanks for that. I've re-read it again now myself and can't see how it could be about anything other than the mother/child and sibling relationship treated as archetypes. And having to reject one child that you love to defend another. But again, treated archetypally. And maybe when you treat...

I'd like to. January you say?
Do we get a 'funky badge' like they do?