Poetry Forum

My pleasure!

Ships is not a typo.

More drivel.

This is drivel. And Brian. You're a liar.

Firstly, I'd like to point out that this poem is NOT an anti CHRISTIANITY poem. I use the word 'God' to refer to any spiritual entity. This is evidenced by the line which refers to BIN LADEN and Bush's war. The last I heard Bin Laden was a Muslim. It would get rather tedious if I had to name every d...

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A Prayer For The Existential Atheist Death is nothing at all. No second life, no ethereal bliss no strange reunion with those we miss. No chance meeting with the flighty ex-wife, or the nasty neighbour who burst your ball. I really won't mind the deathly dust, just to be free of all taxes and bills...

I'm not keen on the trend amongst the trendianista to impose their trendy notions of what the less trendy ought to be tending towards. Form, rhyme, rhythm and meter have been pretty much discarded in the pursuit of 'modernism'. That's all well and good if something good comes out of it, but I'm sick...

Nice! Sums this place up imo.

I've never seen anything like this! It's brilliantly conceived and written and works on every level. AWESOME!!

No it isn't just you. I can't abide poems with invisible punctuation.

Spot on B.! If you are planning a six course meal you should bear in mind that: A) Your guests are unlikely to be able to digest such substantial portions on a daily or even weekly basis without becoming constipated, no matter how much they may enjoy some of the individual courses. B) Although your ...

Thanks all. Yes, it is deliberately contrived in an attempt to show that poetry is always a contrivance in my opinion. No matter how much we may like to think we are writing something free of our personal idiosyncrasies, experiences and biases we always are shaping our writing even if subconsciously...

I certainly think there are interesting aspects to your stories/poems Brendan otherwise I wouldn't bother reading them! :) It isn't so much clumsy as you are clearly an intelligent articulate chap, but in my opinion, it is in need of reigning back on the dialogue and some of the other elements which...

Seeing as no one has commented on this, I will say something. I'm not picking on you specifically for criticism, but trying to stop your writing disappearing without a trace. On the other hand I can only tell it as I see it. Like your war diaries extracts , this is a short story in drag. Again I fou...

Cheers Ray. Your edited final version is a very wise choice in my less than humble opinion!

Please ignore the tiny blue dots beween some words, it was the only way I could format the spacings how I want them! My Magnum Hopeless This was going to be the one . that changed . the world. An opera of imagery so profound its . standing ovation extends beyond the stars into magma and past infini...

I hope you got to see Spain's winner! A lovely move, the ball was slipped into the penalty area, Iniesta clearly onside brought it deftly under control and rifled it into the far corner past the hapless Dutch keeper. ONE NIL!! Lose the middle section and you've got a great poem....indeed a poem of t...

Glad you didn't take offence at my comments! :) I'm sure it is a cultural thing about the line breaks. I hadn't realised you are on the other side! I attend a writing workshop which is run by an American lady and this issue has been raised within the group because she often brings along the work of ...

I think Vietnam is perfectly apt and a much stronger and very different image than 'Vietnamese'..... I don't care if fillipinos look like Vietnamese but I do care that they look like Vietnam! It expands the poem way beyond the docile slumbers of a rest home. The middle part doesn't do much for me, a...

While I agree with others that there is enough of interest to want to go all the way with it, I don't see much in the way of poetry here. It reads as what it is.....extracts from a diary and while there are some nice visual images to be gleaned from the two stanzas beginning 'the mustachioed pale ge...

I really enjoyed reading this. Lots of strong imagery conjouring a nice blend of the wistful, the melancholy and the joyous wonderment of childhood that reaches inside memory and makes it relevant and real. Rather than pointing out what I like (which is nearly all of it!), I'll just mention a couple...

I didn't work there ray. I was a 'client' aka victim of the mental health services in warwick and leamington. Never have so many liars, bullies and lawbreakers been allowed to perpetrate so much conceit, deceit, arrogance and cruelty. The complaints procedure is a closed shop whereby they just close...

Thanks for the replies. I live within a few stone throws of the Bard's home. He did indeed die on his birthday and the English patron saint's day, which seems wonderfully apt. That's what set me off on that semi-journalistic romp.....anyway, the comments are fair enough and express my dilemma. The m...

cheers Geoff. Coffee gives me headaches and reacts adversely with the medication.....nuff said!! It isn't a poem about one tosser, but a series of tossers that I have encountered over the years who share an absurd desire to impose their stupid roolz and regulashunz in order to exercise their egos. T...