Poetry Forum

Neil, thanks for the comments, which are helpful. But just to explain ... I didn't really want or expect for my readers to feel it with me, it was meant to be more like someone looking on somewhat impartially from a distance. I understand what you mean about the reader wanting to feel/have it be rea...

I have wavepad already, I mainly use it to edit, cut and paste stuff - I'll have to play around with it more to see what it can do or even buy a better mic! I'll check out audacity. Not heard of that one before.

Good job! And that's good for a five quid mic too. My one makes things sound really tinny.... or maybe I sound like that in real life

Thank you Lovely.

Dante Thanks for the feedback. I understand where you're coming from now. 'Deep called to deep' is a direct quote from the Psalms I assumed readers would either be vaguely familiar enough with to recognise and connect with, or would understand the language/symbology anyway even if they were unaware ...

singing in the dead of night?

Indeed!

Hi, David!

Can I just say it's really nice to be on a (primarily) British forum. I'm so used to conversing with our American cousins around the www who'd never spot what time it is for me in dear old blighty!

Dante: Thanks for the feedback: Barbara Cartland/Take a Break magazine eat your heart out! Seriously, some people may take what you said as a big compliment! I deliberately did this poem without punctuation as the lines run onto each other and can be read in more than one way depending where you sta...

No of course not, I appreciate it! I don't think in chords at the moment - only individual notes. But I recognise I need to learn more about chords than I do - it's good for jazz improvisation and playing/transcribing by ear.

Penguin, have thought a bit about the 'wondrously' being a bit naff and what would be better in its place. I remember at the time I wrote this struggling a bit with finding exactly the right word to fit meaning and meter and sound. I thought 'wondrously' as a word ticked all these boxes for sound on...

I think it is definitely worth saving. Like I said before, I thought the latter part re the candles is great. It's far from straightforward/tedious, and in my opinion it leaves one having to figure it out just the right amount to be exciting and rewarding without feeling lost/ irked and suffering fr...

I loved this bit: 'The cake looks more shocked, more shocked by the blow than the knife .' My favourite part! I was a bit confused on first reading though, as I thought the beginning was about swimming so the first and last bit didn't seem to match together at all. Now upon reading the comments I ge...

This is a one-off poem I wrote about 7 years ago. I remembered I'd done it and rummaged around and finally found it today at the back of a cupboard, and thought I'd post it here for review. This is the only poem coming from me over the space of many years and I didn't write anything 'poetic' again u...

Thanks for the feedback, Penguin - I'll give these areas some more thought.

Hi Elph!

*cough* How do those things make an 'old fashioned' poem?

Alfie, you misunderstood what I said.

Hi everyone I thought I'd say hello here and introduce myself. But before I do, for all those wondering what the subject title of this post means, my surname means 'blackbird', so there you go! I've not ago posted one of my songs-poems called 'Lovestruck' in the beginners poetry section, so please d...

I REALLY like this as a whole.

I don't think I would change anything (it's almost perfect to me, ok one can always tweak and tweak and absolutely hone to perfection but really it's great as is) except verse 2 which is not as strong and I definitely would alter now. The latter two lines particularly.

This is written in a really old fashioned way, style, imagery, grammar and language, so I think the 'Jimmy Hendrix' is totally out of place in it - in my opinion, the theme and language clashes with it horribly and it doesn't work. I think I'd feel it jarred on me in this section even if you didn't ...

Thanks for that Dante! Interesting - and I didn't know you could upload mp3s here, which is useful to know. My music theory is not good enough yet to give you the guitar chords for the tune I've created thus far. And because I don't yet have the chorus - well actually I do, but I'm not happy with it...

Thanks.

And I'm really sorry about the copyright thing. Tho' I read your site rules a few days ago, that particular site rule somehow must have completely slipped by my radar. But no problem. I'll remove it.

I just tried accompanying it with a guitar using a pattern based around F major C major E major A minor, using a chord for each verse line, it seems pretty cool to music It would be interesting to hear the melody that sprang to your mind. When I've got my song version done first 'draft' I'll put it...

>> Might be useful to drop the copyright, it might grate a bit in these part, lol Dante, does my putting that on it really wind people up on here then? That was not really my intention, only to protect it (for what it's worth - maybe nobody wants to nick it!) And I wasn't presuming the regulars her...

Dante, I have the melody for the intro and verses done but I'm yet to do the chorus or bridge.

Thank you Jacq.

>>some of the images need to be personalized a bit more.

Can you be a bit more specific please? Thanks!

I actually really liked this, Divinia, even if some of it is a bit cliched/tired. But then is anything really original under the sun? Hasn't it all been done before to some extent? I loved this phrase: You are my pharaoh serenading rock songs under blue moons. Perhaps remove the 'blue' and change it...