Poetry Forum

Hold easy that first thought: Awakening is like entering another country. Armed for war. throwing back that which fills up the lands and exposing one’s self to alien forces; strange only because you have yet to learn the language. Should a searchlight seek you out on the border of awakening, through...

Hi Denis. I appreciate your evaluation. Are you familiar with the word "ekphrasis". It might be nice to know. ! That was the word I was looking for at the time. Looking at what I wrote again, i must apologise for being dismissive. The second stanza works as a poem it is just that I think ...

Ros, i read this a couple of times. Each occasion reinforced how great the first stanza is but the second stanza falls apart. Whilst I get the 'relieve myself standing up' it just doesn't sound write. In fact, with the exception of the last four lines (fantastic!) the second stanza seems out of coun...

I like this Marc. I like the 'lost insiders', it makes you stop and reconsider the poem. I think that the only problem is the first line. 'Walking a broken beach' seems to make more sense to me. the 'I' doesn't go into the narrative as a whole.

Jose Saramago!

Brilliant Novelist I have only read his poems in Portuguese, though I don't speak the language.

. I read his prose fiction - 'Little' and three or four short pieces - and though it has its moments I found it more annoying than anything else; maybe I just wasn't in the mood. I think that that is an issue with poets. They think just because they can put pen to paper that they can write fiction a...

This would be hell to read out. I think you've achieved what is necessary: the poem flows beautifully. Having a first and last sestet that seem to create a rondo effect poses some difficulty because it would, narratively, make sense to end it there and the tercet seems superfluous. Yet the enjambmen...

Thank you very much. This is one that I like very much. I think the suggested changed improve it a lot. Just on the matter of changes: I never see any poem as being above improvement. In the case of my work it is not a question of humility or anything like that, but a question of practicality. I thi...

You can’t beat the scent of that first-time opened pouch, releasing a hiss like a kiss, touching your face (vacuum packed coffee opening ritual time). A sense of release; autonomy from mob rule. To compose one from these materials, at hand. Separating the strands, like running your fingers through a...

I like this very much. The revision has tightened it up, but rather than simply changing the narrative you have created a different perspective. her ugly demands in her stockings criss-crossed with veins and treachery is just a powerful image. However do you need to use the description of the woman ...

Ray, I disagree with Catherine. I think that the enjambment works best. There is a very American feel to this (Do you know Jefferson Carter's work?). I can see what Catherine is getting at. If I could compare this poem to anything, then it would be micro tonal music. Logically there should no't be b...

I am in Sweden at the moment and computerless, writing this from the Library! Will be back soon, to catch up then. Kind regards from sunny and sometimes wet Sweden. I have had to use the public libray in Liverpool. I hope they have a better system in Sweden. Anyway. I enjoyed The Catch very much. I...

I guess because of my fondness for Japanese poetry I'm going to see it everywhere. There is a lot of imagery in this and you use it in the same way that Japanese/Chinese tradition poets did. I think that the weakest imade is the first. It is the word 'bipedal', it sound too technical and it has a ce...

Denis said: "ergo (I think)", not "ergo, I think" so I thought he meant that he was taking 'ergo' to mean 'I think' rather than he was thinking about 'ergo'. I think. Umm... Denis? Over to you. Yes, thanks for that clarification. It is the 'here and now' that I was trying to cap...

Thanks very much. It's funny, when I have read out this poem nobody picked up on the 'ergo'. Initially I was going to use 'ego', but I think it made the thing too subjective and autobiographical sounding. My reasoning with ergo is simply to give the piece and objective sound, and so 'ergo' (I think)...

From The New To The Old [/u][/b] I remember when I first caught sight of a Liverpool Ferris wheel. I noticed it from Netherfield Road in Everton. It was like Orion sinking into the Mersey, so it must have been up for a while. The news had not reached my ears at the time . I later learned that it ha...

Hello All, Thank you for my membership. This seems to be a great site, with exceptional quality to the work posted. I live in Liverpool and am active in the poetry scene here. I am a trustee on the board of North End Writers, a charity that promotes creative writing and poetry. I also run the poetry...

I prefer the first revision if only for the pause between 'and' and 'that if this love . . '.. It is a great poem because it does what great poetry should do, which is make us rise above the mundane. There is a strong feeling of restraint in this poem. You have kept a check on the over-exaggerating:...

The problem with this piece is that you have provided an image with it, thus making the poem a commentary on the painting and reducing any poetic value. Illustrations that accompany a poem are alright for children: it helps them to develop the use of imagination. What we have here is a picture and a...

The idea behind this is good. I didn't like the opening line at first but seeing it a couple of times it works. The problem with this is that the poem doesn't seem top know what it should be doing. The asides ((only two? are you sure?) and 'yes there') in the second stanza interupt the poem too much...

dedicated to Sandra Dillon With my ergo as one with others in the room. One with my ergo as in the room with others. The stage was set for interpretation of life. Interpretation was for the set stage of life. Motherhood became the women actors, acting. The women became actors acting Motherhood. Eac...