Poetry Forum

Thank you to you both.

Viva La Bambi An unwitting suicide? Or maybe the pair dashed out into The Monday morning commute As some kind of stag-staged commentary On suburban sprawl. Judging from the pile-up that ensued, I wonder if that doe-eyed innocence Hid some el Che-like inspiration… Anarchy! Bloody road-kill revolución...

Hm I don't know. I liked your whale poem better.

Everything I know I've learned from the movies. Excellent.

Kris: Amber comes from the hardened sap of trees. Paleontologists and geologists study prehistoric amber and the insects and other life forms (and their DNA) that have been petrified within amber (they got stuck there millions years ago and were preserved when the sap hardened into amber.) So, in re...

Uh, hi... ignorant girl here... any chance of getting someone to explain what a "terzanelle" is? (I looked it up, but the explanation I found didn't really help much.)

"a legend when nobody
yet lived who understood their
makings. "

What does that mean?

Very sweet. I held a friend of mine's day old baby last night, so I'm feelin' ya on that baby-love thing. I'll have to post my baby poem since that seems to be a theme around here.

Very sad.

"Your heart like a winter night." sounds pretty. Otherwise, the rhythm could use some tinkering. Also, I think "wrote letters" would be better.

Not bad I guess, but the imagery feels kinda "been there done that."

I know nothing about Welsh forms. I feel lucky I remember the little bit I do from high school...

I'll have to do some reading on it.

Hey! Somebody changed my post!

*very superstitious... writing's on the walllll... very superstitious... ladders 'bout to fallllllllll... WHEN YOU BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT YOU DON'T UnderSTAAAAAAND, then you sufferrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......... superstition ain't the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay*

Oh my goodness... so much drama. I'm Spacka, sorry guys.

F you; I didn't say that! Who is moderating the moderators around this place, eh?

Yah, I need to work on it some more. It's sometimes difficult when you know what you mean, but others do not. I'll get back to you on this one... thanks for your comments.

<What people need to understand is Poetry is not for the writer its for the benefit of the reader. Poems about how YOU are feeling don't cut the mustard I'm afraid> Not entirely true. Writing personal poetry is fine... it's sharing it (especially on a public forum) that is the problem. I, of course,...

The Affair Confined in some domestic mediocrity, Stale memories only entrap. Turned cold to what formerly incensed. Formality to what previously burned. A candle under the bell jar, Flickering out while suffocating and Found helpless while the home fires burn out. Embers only stoked by alternate pas...

Thanks Cade

I'm sure it's just me feeling inferior, but it seemed to go on and on with the references. Reading through, it got to the point where one might think, "Ok, we get the point. You're well read. Thanks." I don't mean to be too critical... like I said, it's probably just me.

I like this a lot. I went camping quite a bit as a child, so this brings back some fond memories.

One thing... could "Sleep steps in the fray" be better with "into" instead of "in"?

Otherwise, very excellent. Nice job.

I'm not fond of the rhyme scheme in 1 & 3, but I like 2 and 4 a lot. Proper punctuation, etc., would make it easier to read I think.

A bit pretentious for my tastes, though I do love:

"I read Frost at Midnight, and at midnight, Frost,
and I've lost count of the days I lost"

That sits on the tongue nicely. Good read for someone who'd enjoy this kind of thing, I imagine.

I like the "want-need-have." Have and need have different connotations even if similar meanings, plus I like the three beats. The sound is more effective using all three words. I like the language a lot, and the images, though I'm not so sure about the line breaks. They seem like thinly ve...

Caleb- I think it's more "once found out"... I've thought about your question and can't really figure out how to better answer that. "Discovered" maybe? I feel like I'm trying to find a synonym for orange here. :wink: And yes, the form is difficult. I obviously haven't mastered i...

I was taught villanelles are to be in iambic pentameter. D. Thomas' (I always forget the title) and "Mad Girl's Love Song" are both written that way. "Look like the inn‘cent flower she will say; But she's the serpent ‘neath it all the while." Those two lines actually allude to th...