Poetry Forum

Thankyou Antcliff, I have taken out the word bugs to insert and in that line instead. I don't think it takes away from the stanza. Thanks for view and input! Kindest thoguhts...

Thanks both, think I am going to go back to the drawing board with this one - it seems to have become more forced with each change I've made prior to putting it up online, perhaps getting away from trying to work with my first stanza and forcing myself to a degree - which shows up here quite badly, ...

Hi Tim and thankyou for taking time out to mull over my poem... I appreciate the pointers made for my perusal, and whilst one slipped past me as typo - the 'and through them there flows rivers' I considered for a while before settling with it when writing. Now pointed out I see 'there flows a river'...

My eyes are roses on my face, they’re in full bloom right now; no need have I to water them, they've quite sufficent to grow! My heart and soul slumped out tonight, I’d packed them tight in your case; I’ve had enough troubles and strife, so I’m cleaning out this place. No more heart ache, pain – nor...

i really enjoyed reading this, I too imagined you waking from the first lien, and then the 'another Sunday morning' reference taking me to believe you were tired of Winter holding out so long, grateful of Spring entering - longing for those warmer days when you would not just have the company of the...

When are the lambs due
Spring must be around the corner
best get mint growing

Your views just as important as anyone elses Richard, in my opinion. I've been writing a while but being on heavy meds still leaves me away with the fairies at times so my editing needs watching carefully. I can get my ideas down when the muse flows - the rest has to follow slowly... Back to opinion...

Hi and welcome albatross - my apologies for jumping on your thread in my attempts to find my way around - sorry... Hope you will quickly find your feet... Look forward to reading some of your work...

children on scooters
kirby and kick the can
... lost in remember when
Twilight zone

Interesting feedback Richard, thanks for reading and commenting - I shall give this further thought. Loving this site - am already feeling like I'm getting useful feedback - oh fabulous! Much appreciated...

Thankyou so much for taking time to go through Richard and it's not a nit pick it's the only way of my moving forward - and let's face it they are silly mistakes too - never hurts to have that second paair of eyes cast over... I can't change word count without changing words as is haiku tanka chain ...

Smiles - what fun you two must have enjoyed the heck out of writing this! Great collaboration, well done both!

I’m fairy nature, come to collect fall’s leaf wares to help make a coat. A coat of sunsets, a last breath of summer’s glow to wrap up autumn. I disguise myself living amongst the woodlands, squirrels, birds, and bees. Slowly with magic I single handedly turn the seasons over; sweeping winds and driv...

Running your fingers
over my delicately tuned form.
Blind. – You know which keys to press.
To enhance sweet music from me.
Happily and playfully,
my white notes singing love.
The darker side brings juxtaposed
moods and sadness,
pedalling drama and bitterness.
You know just how to play me.

Hi Richard, thanks for coming back on that - and yes thought that was to which you were referring - if am honest though 'brilliance' is not a word I would ever use with morality but is a very personal choice and says something about the individual author I think - so nothing wrong with it, just not ...

Thanks for your point of view David, appreciate your stopping by toleave a few thoughts... Smiles.

Hi there Richard, I read your piece with interest as I have written similarly in the past only on Tsunami... and can comfortably relate with much of what is written and the deeper meaning and messages of promise and hope it holds within... However, forgive me it could just be me but I am struggling ...

Thanks Ros, thought there would be more to it than that if I'm honest - wasn't sure if it had to resubmit somewhere... Edit works good for me... Appreciate your taking time out to answer questions etc... Many thanks.

Thanks Ros, Ant and Brian your welcome and words appreciated. I do read an awful lot - so much is easily accessible with help of the web these days... and I'm looking forwards to my involvement here - already receiving some useful feedback and feeling like I can perhaps work with it too - so a good ...

Thanks Ros, nice to have a little guidance... Re the publishing it all started out as no costs at contract stage and then little by little they were creeping in, and then big promises of getting you on a stand to promote your work at your costs overseas - talk about a red light - so I pulled the plu...

Food for thought there Brian, this poem ended up with more takes on it than I ever could have imagined - the more I/others read, the more I see... I think I got to the point where I am frightened to take away from it after all the show and tell sessions I have been through! This is a poem I wrote a ...

Thanks for your thoughts kozmikdave, and hi! This was an attempt over Christmas to kickstart the muse into working again really. I found that many people didn't seem to understand Acrostics and so went through with the extra capitalization to sort that one out - but is easy one to resolve with the t...

Hey there Richard, thanks for your thoughts - i need to know if I am pitching things right or not to move forwards... glad you liked it - and you just educated me with a new word - so thankyou again! Good to hear your view and start to get to know people on here... Hope to be seeing you around? Smil...

You've made a great start here and have something you can work with now - try rephrasing some of the lines - sometimes rhyme, meter or form help a piece fall into place, I've still alot to learn myself. I can see you are off-setting what should be a joyous occassion with what has left a family of he...

Okay, this is the grounds for an effective piece that should hit hard if I'm reading it correctly... The weakest point I see personally is "I'd escape your grasp by hiding inside it," - nothing wrong with what you have written don't get me wrong but I think it needs filling out a little - ...