Poetry Forum

Value for the money
Put it where your mouth is sir
or just ante up!

Failed Fabulously
quarter mile from the homestretch
lost her 'maiden' head.

Hi,
I liked the fact you posted the picture.
Best line was the last one--'terrible vinatas'.
My suggestion would be to take out 'in' in both places.
I don't think they are needed.

Cheers!
JB

One year the kids made a photo mosaic, a diary from warmness to winter’s decaying: the feeding of bottles and reading of stories, his hair set in bobbles, the family guffawing; teaching the beautiful game in the garden, I love the cadence this piece. There is a certain sense of affection laced with...

I think the lines "I loved myself too late" resonate with females who have taken a more submissive role in their relationships. Most of us (at least in my age bracket) have mothers who grew up in the forties. We learned from them that putting others ahead of self is paramount. I am certain...

Lianas of laundry arc from block to block, secured to balconies where bicycles, hooked by their wheels, swing softly in the breeze. I loved this part of your poem. The flow and ebb was perfect. Lianas of laundry...! Wonderful. I almost wanted the poem to start with this and end on " snow-haire...

I love being back! Missed all of you!

Kisses,
Kim
JB

Hello Everyone, Its so good to be back! My absence had little to do with you and all to do with me. I've been rebuilding my life the last two or three years. It's taken all of my creative juices but now they are coming back to me in bits. Honestly, this is the first poem of substance that wasn't scr...

Yes , it has snowed here ― but lightly. It is morning still. A choir of trees ― branches raised in hallelujah ― sway in a sea-breeze from along the coast. You are sitting there legs loosely crossed hair up hands cupped around a dandelion coffee. Yes terday, we jumped up and down and ate soup to kee...

I liked the progression of layers and wonder if it would be too trite to name them as I., II., and III while leaving then ending off as it doesn't do justice to the rest. I think the poem would have benefited from the rich weave of legend about men who take the shapes of animals or vica- versa. For ...

Revision: The smoke is spectacular from here, smoldering piles kindled against the frost. We should have wrapped the plum trees in August, winched them tightly with bandages as if they were broken. But we forgot. “When I grew up everyone had a ditch bag.” He says, matter of fact. His father taught h...