Poetry Forum

Hello, I have written a few in this style before and usually get the same response. First you need to break it up a bit, it's to relentless. By having no break, no pause for breath, you can sometimes skip over some important points. Also the line lengths get longer as the piece goes on, which slows ...

hehe. I really like it, it's clever and insightful. First two lines are two of the best lines i've read in a while, esp, the line break. However, the use of the word "fuckers" over powers the whole piece. Using "French" in a poem is so difficult to do as it takes away meaning fro...

Hello! This is my second poem on here. I always write in a simple format, i feel the isolation of the reader by using over complication and pomposity is the real last poetical barrier (for me at least). That and i don't know many long words ! hehe. Thanks for taking time to read. Death on the Estate...

hello. The poem is very brave. I feel that the use of the colours is very good and insightful. Also the language is strong and fluent. However, i do agree that it is totally confusing. confusing people until the end may seem like a good idea, but it isolates the reader, and makes them turn off to th...

Hello Ray, it seems to be two different poems. The first stanza is far to clogged with intense powerful words. I am used to complicated poems, but there was a word in there that i had to look up. Maybe this is my bad, but i felt the poem was trying to hard to be clever 'beating beatitude' for exampl...

Ray is right, this is a very good poem. Your use of words and imagery make the piece a pleasure to read. the last two lines in my opinion are just driftwood. We have been given the impression that we are the lap dogs throughout the poem, i do not feel the summory of the last two lines is needed, sho...

I think it needs the start, as without it you lose the setting and feel for the rest of the poem. The whole forlorn feeling i got would be lost in this *edited* version. Eye impact I feel is the weakest point of the poem. It flowed very well and your use of words and imagery is very good. However, i...

I think the poem is strong in structure, and do not feel the last few lines need to be separated. The use of the the string of words is one of the stronger areas of the piece as the visual aspect of the change of style as well as the pace change, created by shorter lines, adds impact to the 'punch l...

Hello there. My name is Kpt Quack (quack for short) and i have been writing poetry, prose and songs for a few years now. I have just found this web site and look forward to posting and to critiquing others work. I feel through the opinions of others, both good and bad, we will all become better writ...