Poetry Forum

Thanks a lot for your response Robbie, Firstly, I agree that the title is a bit lame, I couldn't think of anything else, it was originally Remnants of Society but I didn't like that and now thinking about it, it makes no sense. Also, I agree that every line is quite a mouthful, i'll work on splittin...

Hi champion, That was a really nice read, really effective image and atmosphere created and even though you don't mention weather at all, it felt really cold. The flow is quite good and I didn't stumble at all when reading, nicely done. However, I have to agree that a much better ending would be at ...

Wow, that was great, truly a pleasure to read. Really nicely crafted imagery, clever use of internal rhymes and a overall a good flow. I'm not sure what to criticize about it to be honest, I really liked it.

Revised Blanket opinions with statements of beauty, waking. Sleeping. Waking. Myriads of jets spray bodies of impurities Tearing away filth regathered by tainted skin Odors of sleaze, smear against all encountered Stains of rot, oozing down innocent cloths Purity stripped Living. Furious convulsion...

Thanks for the responses, I completely agree with the chorus thing and that is what it's meant to be. I'll get rid of that bit until I have music to it I think and possibly write another verse. Anyway thank you for replying and i'm glad you liked it, i'll make sure to post more soon.

I really liked this, felt incredibly sentimental and brought me back to a more magical Christmas time, waiting for the morning to come and being so excited, thank you for this :) I think it could do with the exclamation marks and inverted commas on 'inside' being removed, it seems fine without those...

Hello there, I have been writing for just over a week now and I have spewed out so much in that time, like all my thoughts were bottled up and wanting to be written. So this is one I feel most happy with, I've not read anything on writing poetry so yeah, it may suck. It's sort of intended to be a so...