Poetry Forum

The begining kind of sets up the future enviroment. This does take place in 2020. It also sets up my charachter. He is a murder whom is also mourning a death. But the later is also a idea which I repeat so I geuss I could cut it out in the start.

I may edit the questions out aswell.

It is nice and simple.
Seems kind of shallow.
No metaphors to anaylze so it isn't my cup of tea.
I just like to dive into poems and this one would give me a crushed skull.
But still, it is cute.

Hmm intresting poem.
I like the metaphor.


I don't like you had one kind of opinion of the start and then had a random relization that you were wrong and had a contradicting thought at the end.

Just doesn't seem relistic.

Meh. The area doesn't really bother me. Not at this time.

I'll critique a handfull of other peoples poems in a few moments. That isn't a promblem at all.

I'll change my font for you. Just note that it is teal not blue.

I put it in expert just because I want to be crtized and told what to improve on.
But I am new to this forum so maybe I can get simmilar results in beginers and then everything is cool.

I don't think I am a expert at all.
I was just confused.
Thanks.

Lament Through War Blood, spit, and grime. Grungy mechanical hands dancing on their murderous playground. Dry squinting eyes are possessed by the demon of mourning. A jittering and extensive dead tree fills up the sandy battleground. With its distorted size and shape. New invisible technology would...