Poetry Forum

Hi Ray, enjoyed this poem and the irony of the end - worked really well I thought.

It also reads well and I like many parts of the penguin.

No comments for improvement.

Cheers,

Tristan

Thanks Ray. Pleased you enjoyed. I’ve changed sink . I’ll hold back from explaining ‘maybe never did’ for now.

Cheers,

Tristan

V3 people get separated from their words when they die it starts off like those reporters on tv whose mouths are moving slightly out of sync with their speech until it’s no longer possible, maybe never was in the mind, to see your mother or father’s lips saying the things that you remember, and you ...

Really like this one Phil. Some of your best work I think. Love the sound of ‘into pelagic light’.

Many congrats.

Cheers,

Tristan

Many congrats Phil. Love the word ‘Mumpsimus’ and how it came into being. Fantastic find.

Thoroughly enjoyed the poem.

Cheers,

Tristan

Many congrats Phil. The book looks lovely. A well deserved inclusion, I’m sure.

Cheers,

Tristan

Many congrats John. Much enjoyed.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi John,

I really enjoyed this. The imagery is great. The poem made me think of Bruce Chatwin’s ‘Songlines’.

Maybe you slip a little into cliche here: ‘like some thief in the night’.

A very interesting poem. I’ll think more about it.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi John, These lines are both excellent and horrifying. Now, the easy hand that plucks the lyre, the drinking cup, the bow, peels Marsyas the way one peels a fruit. I have to admit my ignorance of Marsyas’s and Apollo’s story, but wiki soon put this right. Enjoyed the poem and researching its mythol...

I like the idea that possibly God having a good day and singing somehow set all the planets, galaxies and electrons in motion. Enjoyed the poem John. It has your usual easy readability in terms of fluidity and flow, but not necessarily in terms understanding of meaning.

Nice poem.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi John,

I like this poem. I read it out aloud and liked its rhythm. Highlights for me are: ‘from the long / descent to evening’ and ‘a spark /leaps from a cathode’.

Lots more to like, too, of course.

Much enjoyed.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi John, When I read this I thought it was a parody, but then I read your comments to Phil and found out it was your reaction to the popularity demotic language in poetry. I fully agree with your viewpoint, but I’m not sure this is the best way of expressing it. Of course, you are right, the registe...

Nicely done David. As others have said, this poem gently sings. Thoroughly enjoyed.

If this poem is written from personal experience, I hope you have recovered.

Cheers,

Tristan

Pleased you enjoyed it John, and liked that sentence. I can understand why poets enter comps, but for me they are a waste of money when I could be buying a po mag or book. I’ve been reading through the latest edition of Long Poem Magazine and there’s so many interesting things people are doing in po...

Made a contribution yesterday.

Cheers all,

Tristan

Hi Phil, I have to confess that I have entered po comps in the past but not for a long time. Pleased you found it convincing. But as you imply, you’d already come to the pieces conclusions. Hi Fliss, Pleased you enjoyed the piece. Po comps are definitely better when there are no entry fees involved....

Many thanks Mac and Celeb. Many congrats to David, Fliss, Ray and John! Excellent poems all round.

If anyone is interested I’ve had a short essay published in Litter Magazine about poetry competitions (https://www.littermagazine.com/2023/11/ ... oetry.html).

Cheers,

Tristan

I’ll wait too for the October post.

Hope you are doing well Kris.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi Phil,

I enjoyed this poem a great deal. It implies much about communication for me. Great image.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi John, I enjoyed this retelling of Shackleton’s incredible journey and eventual rescue of his men, and all those ‘might bes’. I also liked the ‘Dead Reckoning’ idea as their method of navigation and that it can lead to an accumulation of errors as in the recounting of stories - clever stuff. Enjoy...

Hi David,

Not to worry at all. Pleased you liked the poems.

Cheers,

Tristan

Many thanks all and congrats to Michael. Much enjoyed your poem.

Cheers,

Tristan

Many congrats Fliss! I read this on Twitter and enjoyed it then and am still enjoying it.

Cheers,

Tristan

Many congrats Celeb. Enjoyed your poem.

Cheers,

Tristan

Hi Morpheus, I like this and think it works very well. I’m not sure I agree with Phil about swapping ‘fuck it’ for ‘sod it’. I like the harshness of ‘fuck it’. I also think your move from first person to third person viewpoint in you second version adds an element of humour to the end of the poem, w...