Poetry Forum

(i thought this might be about the Dresden Dolls, love them) very nice. my only stumble came with "trapdoor" i like the imagery of the trapdoor, but feel the line flows as it should if you drop the trap and make it simply "door" read the line with "door" a few times, an...

there is one thing our culture is good at and that is generating a sense of cool in the hearts, minds, and loins of the everyman you listen to brilliant music on an mp3 player while you multitask three websites and a design project and it is there, a sense of infinite cool which more or less transla...

nice, really love "Or beneath a pavilion like a poet."

I am wondering though, if you could do without the 2nd "Maybe" in there? I love it the first time with "snap a wrist" but feel "Write upside down" could do without it.

really like this. I do have a point to discuss, though. The men you speak of who know the position well, these are men already buried. Yet the poem is about yourself, when you die and are planted. I think with some minor adjustments, this peice could be much more profound. example: No. It's a positi...

Was this original thought? I'm impressed if it was. Seems like one of those old sayings - but I've never heard it, so it gives it extra appeal to me. Good one. mick. I'm sure it's been said many times before, but it was original for me at the time of writing. Absolon's Sword: I'd actually take that...

I feel more hopeless than god
waiting for his final trick;

there is nothing worse
than setting things in motion
and knowing right off
that you were wrong
as the hammer
looms
and then comes down
exactly where you planned.

[] delete () add Always nice to see you and say hello - ask where you are going ? or to share the seat beside you and talk about mundane matters. i like this opening, nice setup When your lips move, your face as if cast in plaster, cracks from your set ritual of daily work - the professional demean...

i like the words

i just don't know what to feel

what do you want us to FEEL when we read this? a good question for every poem

I could not get this to post correctly....so I uploaded an image of it. Below the image is the text in case others want to do a line by line. http://www.joshmedors.com/ror/myspace/00000.jpg 00000. in the meantime little images do dance for me in the shape of how I remember you. all those infectious ...

Very nice, and I love the addition of the quote, it lends this a depth that wouldn't otherwise be there. [] = delete () = add On the window-ledge This morning, in May sunlight, The plastic bottle Of apple juice is slowly Thawing - its beer-brown Liquid sparkl(es) [ing] gently, but At its heart the i...

[] = delete () = add There was no rising numbness arsewise, or otherwise, as I sat on the wall with the other‘Dummkopfe’, waiting . - like this in italics Maybe I should stand on my head to feel the sandstone dampness thud my brain, like some sparring session that juddered my head in the seventies? ...

what fun.

love that last line, i have no crits to offer.

this is fantastic, great piece. love: <i>like a playground wound.</i> WOW. This works so well; all of us can connect to it, and yet, it will be different for each...because we have some deep association with a wound (emotional and/or physical) experienced at a young age at school etc. Very nice. I h...

there have been a lot of reasons for my absence from work from college from anything connected to eventual success. I have a library of logic to justify my delinquent meandering from woman to woman, ride to ride, all these miniature black holes that are never big enough to swallow my ego. at 30 I’ve...

why isn't this good? never project that kind of sentiment onto your readers...that's my first bit of advice ;) I LOVE the lines <i>She banged the whole debate team, in a grand election scheme.</i> this is candy on the tongue. Some line by line notes: [] = delete () = add <i>Stuff of locker room lore...

really enjoy the precise images created here. I do feel that "the constant breeze is gone" is your impact line...your last line. I've restructured the poem to show how this might be done. <i>paper dolls stare down from the shelf ever watching, the blue bedspread pulled straight<b>,</b> tho...