Poetry Forum

A frost has seized upon the sun,
small fingers grip a willing earth,
to dance off white, for in its worth,
lies the grace of a ballerina's run!

I'm unsure of its 'quality' but don't consider myself new to poetry soooo i hope it's ok to post here.

The way that I danced with you A form of uncompromising closenss, lost in sweat dancing, to god knows what, embracing again. So high I forget how high I am, hearing only my own movements, seeing yours. Sweat, a “half formed thought” that we were already played this one tonight; or that they should....

well mine neither !!

the words means - my will i myself god, butr translates as "i wanted to beat god" - according to google translate.

if i look up fearsome
Fearsome \Fear"some\ (f[=e]r"s[u^]m) a. 1. Frightful
then look up frightful
Informal. very great; extreme: That actor is very talented but a frightful ham

can i conclude that i may say that i am fearsome stupid, without striking fear?

“D O D G E M S” Happy birthday! A Bass Drum thumps over trance; fun, but not “dodging”, unable to, the turn is too big. Off, and bump. I alight, family stricken; it is not my birthday, I don't have to pretend anything, only smile. The host explodes again, it IS his birthday, a special “he has surge...

i don't think that's the issue; i don't think the issue is being tone deaf. i think it's that i'm not compellingly musical.

Suzanne - thanks, i think your edit is a good improvement.

bodkin, can you explain show don't tell, pls? not examples, but a specifi defintion ?

Mea volente Egomet Deo We play by the side of the Thames, happy enough with my niece. She falls, we pick her up; it's all very easy to maintain, a distance from each other without resentment. Now and then I remind myself how silly it is - how silence is like a lie or how alone I am in my own head, ...

Daytripper by Adelle Stripe. The bed of Cock Beck is grey; oil, drip-dropped from the motorway planes, into the drain holes, into the Beck. My father stares into the water, talks of the pike, the trout, the chub, he caught and fed to us over the years. When mayflies danced to their own reflection, ...

interesting replies, TU... the definition of fetish is a reading of das kapital - are these strophes not instances of fetishism ?

ts eltio? but it's irrelevant, i'm no classicist etc

what im GOING for:
conversational rhythms
structured like a plurality of voices - not diffeent tones really but developing the poem as it were part of a dialogue, but still making sense.
and a sense of violent excess...

i won't try exlaining why ! but .. ?

ur right - it is a damp squib if you don't at least guess it's someone else.

ok, i'm sorry for the typos.

i'm trying to write stuff that is more dynamic / energetic, than self consciously poetic - as bodkin has called my verses before.

WRT the auto-critique in the op, it's probably laden with ironic tone - in their imagination hah

i think anyone that says i'm "flatly denying relaity" in dismissing their criticism,,, is mad and that they have fallen into their own egotism, quite some time ago.

i got banned from pigpen for literally nothing besides arguing that 'canto' is almost synonymous with pound's cantos. i tried another one,,, the top hit. i didn't much like it, maybe just the colour scheme tho :D here is OK, no-one is commenting on my poems and a couple of people have misunderstood ...

A fetish is when a doing is a having [tab][/tab] A violent movement into the present. A wound, or countdown, or a momentary sense of being ill at ease. The heat of midsummer will evoke a fan's circling the corners of my room, while at night I smoke to numb complacencies. [tab][/tab] I finish a ciga...

My constant surrender Egotism spewsforth these ecrits, [tab][/tab]annulling me; a cancelled appointment, or a thuderclap. [tab][/tab]Do you know what, I'm bored of you. [tab][/tab]I could never stomach his cathartic fits, the sudden reality, or my constant surrender to them. ---- trying to begin to...

any tips on how to read / interpret an ashbery poem?

Moving on This weakness has possessed me all day. I cannot remember a time in which it made sense, when I felt like my weight was my own; a weakness as old as the world spinning against it. Only my psychosis puts up no struggle in the embrace, its memory a nauseating reoccurence of people who have ...

please don't be a nihilist.
please.
no, please, for me

Painful words There is much vanity in these ecrits; as everything is forgettable, so I forget my place among them. A thunderclap, or a mistimed appointment. Do you know what I'm bored of you. I would prefer not to pretend I disagree: there is a kind of authenticity to his fits a momentary quality in...

how relevant is he?

i'm reading some now, and he seems a nice foil to some of the contrivance of contemporary poetry, but his verse does stumble along here and there.

energetic, visceral, or bombastic or..?

Crossing μετά I don't think there's ever been a poet as good as me, the idea of equality belonging only to the rich, and successful. All that time on retroactive surfaces, “why not ask – if it bothers you”. It'd be so irreversible, like a cult, and a rhyme is a line of flight, or a capital letter. ...