Thanks caleb
yees you sussed me out ha
if it works or doesn't work who cares anyway. Sometimes you just write daft stuff. Maybe I should turn it into an Ode..
Tony
Search found 680 matches
- Sun Jun 02, 2024 3:34 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: An apology for Cheese.
- Replies: 3
- Views: 61
- Sat Jun 01, 2024 3:42 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: An apology for Cheese.
- Replies: 3
- Views: 61
An apology for Cheese.
An apology for Cheese. it can be kept in the fridge indefinitely it can be eaten with wine and tantalize the palate It is the whey and the curd it is the long maturation period it is the alchemy of farts and cholesterol it is the midden of our desires it is the armpit of food it is the toe cheese an...
- Sat Jun 01, 2024 3:01 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Bird
- Replies: 7
- Views: 158
Re: Bird
Ray
Really liked this. I've inferred he's one of your ex patients?
As a poem I don't know how to make it better.
Tony
Really liked this. I've inferred he's one of your ex patients?
As a poem I don't know how to make it better.
Tony
- Sat Jun 01, 2024 2:23 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: A day in a life
- Replies: 3
- Views: 58
Re: A day in a life
Hi Kris
After the second line I would hyphenate it instead of ending it with a full stop, then it would show you're basically unpacking the first two lines.
Chatgpt pretends to give a shit. We don't.
Tony
Tony
After the second line I would hyphenate it instead of ending it with a full stop, then it would show you're basically unpacking the first two lines.
Chatgpt pretends to give a shit. We don't.
Tony
Tony
- Sun May 12, 2024 3:14 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Abandoned
- Replies: 7
- Views: 226
Re: Abandoned
I like it but i don't know why i like it.
Tony
Tony
- Thu Apr 25, 2024 12:52 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Boat Trip
- Replies: 6
- Views: 289
Re: Boat Trip
Hi ray
There's something sensuous about snaky sibilants, but seriously, nice piece.
Nice last line.
Tony
There's something sensuous about snaky sibilants, but seriously, nice piece.
Nice last line.
Tony
- Thu Apr 25, 2024 12:34 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Houses of the Holy
- Replies: 6
- Views: 284
Re: Houses of the Holy
Thanks Caleb Glad it made you think for a bit. Piggy stick by the way, was a high strength cider they used to sell in a nightclub I once frequented lol Sorry for the arcane reference Nice to see you again Ray! My dying father in laws porch collected leaves because a strange whirlwind effect. I think...
- Sun Apr 21, 2024 1:49 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Houses of the Holy
- Replies: 6
- Views: 284
Re: Houses of the Holy
Thanks mac, nice edit.
John lol
white lightning, White Frost, Diamond White, Frosty Jack.
Tony
John lol
white lightning, White Frost, Diamond White, Frosty Jack.
Tony
- Sun Apr 21, 2024 1:40 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Absent
- Replies: 4
- Views: 235
Re: Absent
Great honest piece.
From the impulse to the writing...draws me to the impulse.
Tony
From the impulse to the writing...draws me to the impulse.
Tony
- Sat Apr 20, 2024 2:15 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Ghost-Meat
- Replies: 5
- Views: 248
Re: Ghost-Meat
That's exactly it. Not lost, but found in translation
Tony
Tony
- Sat Apr 13, 2024 2:04 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Houses of the Holy
- Replies: 6
- Views: 284
Houses of the Holy
revision 1 The tramps are sitting beside the Cathedral drinking White Lightning and Piggy Stick and having the best fun they can. Outside of your empty Fathers house- there’s a kind of whirlwind that collects leaves between the porch and the garage. Now the tramps are sitting beside the Cathedral ju...
- Fri Apr 12, 2024 2:43 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Ghost-Meat
- Replies: 5
- Views: 248
Re: Ghost-Meat
That's funny John. "Barbarian cowpork" has a certain ring to it. Glad you liked it Caleb.
Tony
Tony
- Fri Apr 12, 2024 2:39 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Tinnitus
- Replies: 7
- Views: 195
Re: Tinnitus
Thanks Mac, Caleb , glad you liked it.
Good job you weren't a teenager today John, you might have been jumping rooftops with a self-stick and phone in hand
Tony
Good job you weren't a teenager today John, you might have been jumping rooftops with a self-stick and phone in hand
Tony
- Sun Apr 07, 2024 3:27 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Ghost-Meat
- Replies: 5
- Views: 248
Ghost-Meat
You scroll down the online menu of your favourite Curry House, Onion Bahji, Vegetable Pakora, Prawn Parathta. Suddenly you see the strange subtitle- ghost meat, above the minced chicken kebabs, Shiish kebabs, a misnomer, mis-translation, but somehow correct; the evisceration of flesh, meat that's be...
- Sun Apr 07, 2024 1:56 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Ancient.
- Replies: 6
- Views: 314
Re: Ancient.
Thanks Mac for the suggestion but sometimes lines just come to you. Once i get thinking about "inner perception" that's when it stops.
Not sure if it's modern poetry, Caleb, but glad you found something in it you liked( too hot lol)
Tony
Not sure if it's modern poetry, Caleb, but glad you found something in it you liked( too hot lol)
Tony
- Sun Apr 07, 2024 1:52 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Tinnitus
- Replies: 7
- Views: 195
Re: Tinnitus
Thanks John
The insane things you get up to when you were a kid? Or was it just me?
The insane things you get up to when you were a kid? Or was it just me?
- Sat Apr 06, 2024 3:35 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Tinnitus
- Replies: 7
- Views: 195
Tinnitus
I used to bend my head
towards on-coming trains
pressing
my ear on the steel tracks
listening
with glee and fear
the metallic
hiss from miles away
putting a ten pence piece on the rail
the coins that were flattened
seemed like the coins of kindness.
towards on-coming trains
pressing
my ear on the steel tracks
listening
with glee and fear
the metallic
hiss from miles away
putting a ten pence piece on the rail
the coins that were flattened
seemed like the coins of kindness.
- Sat Apr 06, 2024 2:54 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Fahrenheit, Not Celsius (version 5 -- new ending)
- Replies: 17
- Views: 515
Re: Fahrenheit, Not Celsius (version 3)
Hi Caleb As Mac suggested, you don't need the first verse. But it's a bit forced overall too. You could trim it down here is my version I could only think of the homeless woman I walked past forty years ago at midnight in New York City, on my way to the subway from a second-shift job. She slept in t...
- Mon Apr 01, 2024 1:28 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Ancient.
- Replies: 6
- Views: 314
Re: Ancient.
Thanks John
- Sat Mar 30, 2024 4:04 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Ancient.
- Replies: 6
- Views: 314
Ancient.
Take a walk on the outer walls
of that old city.
It’s Winter, getting dark,and the faces
of commuters are harried as gargoyles;
the ache of the day is still in us,
and you are still missing your pills.
of that old city.
It’s Winter, getting dark,and the faces
of commuters are harried as gargoyles;
the ache of the day is still in us,
and you are still missing your pills.
- Sat Mar 30, 2024 1:52 am
- Forum: Poetry Discussion
- Topic: NAPO
- Replies: 12
- Views: 318
Re: NAPO
By that logic a monkey on a typewriter will write the complete works of Shakespeare if given enough time.
Tony
Tony
- Sat Mar 30, 2024 1:31 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Bad Dream.
- Replies: 16
- Views: 478
Re: Bad Dream.
Thanks John for the critique, maybe an apology is in order. If you are going to say something, just say why you said it. Surely it's more constructive for your own clarification as well, of your likes and dislikes that can build into your own poetry. Does anyone actually learn anything on this forum...
- Thu Mar 28, 2024 1:24 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Bad Dream.
- Replies: 16
- Views: 478
Re: Bad Dream.
John I don't mind people saying that my poetry is shit, as long as they say why...which you didn't. This is a poetry forum after all. In all my time on here I have never left a remark like that and never said why I didn't like the piece. Thanks mac, for your insights. I've not processed them yet but...
- Sun Mar 24, 2024 4:46 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Still (version 3)
- Replies: 27
- Views: 584
Re: Still (version 2)
Hi caleb
Reminds me of a self-pitying Bukowski poem
without the irony, but that's a good thing in my book.
At least you are aware
Tony
Reminds me of a self-pitying Bukowski poem
without the irony, but that's a good thing in my book.
At least you are aware
Tony
- Sun Mar 24, 2024 3:49 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Random Bloke
- Replies: 6
- Views: 174
Re: Random Bloke
I like "the brains lumber room"
Tony
Tony