Poetry Forum

Welcome to the world of Android :) I absolutely love my phone and use it for just about everything - for playing mp3s, games, the internet, email, web development, banking, sat nav. Oh, and phone calls too... As for your question, there are a couple, but I've never tried them and they don't rank too...

The revision has a very dramatic impact on the mood of the poem. In the first version, the end adds a lightheartedness which is entirely missing from the second - and conversely, a tinge of cynicism to the second absent from the first. Now personally, I prefer the revised version, but I'm not entire...

...why not lose Is he I wonder a little jealous of the kudos attached to being the famed first man on the moon? , and go directly to something like Buzz shoots the moonscape only the moonscape, thinking perhaps, it should have been me . Just an idea, Jackie I agree. The poem flows beautifully until...

I like the revised version very much - the imagery works really well with the mood and...

Grandad, whiskered, mouthing air
as if a fish with pulsing gills.

... is quite powerful and rather beautiful.

I rather like this. I agree that the middle two stanzas are the weakest... I say, the original would have the quality of the original; the copy would be the copy. My answer is too pat, you say, and, perhaps, misses the point. Can we know someone else, or can we only really know about someone else, y...

Ros, I like this a lot. There's a real dirty, gritty feel to it and sense of sad, grim reality. Personally, I very much like the imagery behind the tattoos - the love/hate on the knuckles, the dragon tattoo. I really wouldn't change very much about it, personally.

As you can see there are a few opposite views on the parts/whole of this poem, but that's not unusual and it's nice to get any feedback. Absolutely - all views I express are strictly my own and I fully expect others not to agree with them. Nor would I want them too - it wouldn't be art if we all sh...

Very nice flow to this poem and like Macavity I liked the interplay between the human and mechanical, but felt you really didn't draw this out as much as you could. The "skull" floating is a nice visual and perhaps the "goat" unnecessary, again to keep the human/mechanical theme ...

Beautifully constructed with really nice visual touches - the cranes silently rearranging themselves and the lego container stacks conjure up some strong images. I also very much enjoyed the end and the sense of all that effort for such trivial items. Although "at the Orwell's passing tidal edd...

Some very nice imagery. I particularly like a ladder snakes her scarlet tights, from knee to hem and hem to knee Makes me feel like I'm stealing a sneaky glance myself :) The repetition of the last line of each stanza doesn't quite work for me - it imposes itself in a way that detracts from the over...

Hello, I'm not a poet, but over the last twelve months or so have found myself writing the occasional bit of poetry. It has been something of an emotional outlet and they are very personal. I came here to post some of it, but I've never shown it to anyone before and it seems a bit random to show it ...