Poetry Forum

Thank you cynwolf and Lackadaisical for enjoying the poem and for telling me so. Guys I did something similar in Australia and nothing came of it but I'll give it some thought.
Thanks again
Wazza

A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. While recuperating and trying to focus on the lighter side of life, I wrote this poem. Leaky Plumbing It began when I found I could no longer wee, especially during the night. It came out in spits and sometimes in spurts, and I thought to m...

Thanks for that Suzanne. I'm currently writing and revising some pieces.
Thanks again ... Wazza

Thanks everyone, just having a bit of fun with the English language.
Wazza

Be my guest Namyh. I don't mind a rewrite from a fellow poet.
Cheers ... Wazza

I retired in 2005 after 46 years as a teacher. It saddens me to say that in the latter part of my career there were many young teachers on staff whose spelling was not something to boast about. Every three years since 2000, the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) has conduct...

Mick you are absolutely correct. Metre is everything in rhyming verse. Thanks for the observation. I have edited the poem. Isn't it funny how one can read something a hundred times and then another reader can pick up an error in one read. I guess that's why publishers employ proof readers. Thanks ag...

The cultural idiocy gap between parents and kids is getting wider And December is the cruellest month. Tell me about it - and I'm often left feeling the dill, when I'm engaging with my grand kids in conversation about their lives and doings.. And stranger ... I think the jihadists drink something s...

Hi again byneothr ... as I started the read I thought "This is good." And it was. The first seven lines really did it for me. A great start to the piece. I appreciate how you were tying the intro, the running, to the last verse and you very successfully accomplished this. The finishing lin...

Hi Mac, Yes their are a couple of inversions. I've been down this road before. I'm happy to use them occasionally, so like you say ...bring 'em back. :D If I can find an edit button I'll fix up the missing stop. byneothr ... hi. I haven't read any of Saul Williams but have certainly read Elliot. Wha...

You are absolutely right Suzanne. As I said in my intro to this forum I'm not practiced in writing unrhymed poetry. What I did with Contemplation was to take a poem I had written... Contemplation and rewrite it sans rhyme. I agree with you, it didn't work. So here is the original... see what you thi...

Yes David, very basic, mostly minor chords. Again
Wazza

Yes David, very basic, mostly minor chords.
Wazza

That's fine byneothr ... we'll just have to agree to disagree and nothing wrong with that. Happens all the time.
Cheers,
Wazza

Yep! That would work Mac .... thanks,
Wazza

This is actually a lyric Seth,so I hope it fits the challenge. A Long Long Road (blues lyric) I've been walking ... my whole life through. Trying to do what a man's got to do. Yes I’m walking, but it's a long long road. I've been walking … just to make it on time. To get there early – to get what's ...

Hi again byneothr ... I'm glad to hear that you and the narrator are not one. I'm with you in all of your explanation re other's comments, good on you, we write for ourselves in the main. However, there is one thing you have said that 'd calls out for further comment. I don't count feet, or beats, a...

Sorry, but it's a little lengthy. Contemplation The season’s days were long winter owned when the canvas of an afternoon brushed by an early measure of spring lured me onto wind swept sands where gentle waves just out of reach tempted my sun warmed feet. I wondered then whence they had come. Had the...

Love the poem Steve. Very amusing and true to the experiences we all have at the dentist at one time or another. Can't like the F word here as it hasn't any relevance to the poem itself.
Wazza

Byneothr, this is a little too unsweetened for my palate. I'm fine with it until you get to the stanzas where you tell the reader how much you despise yourself. I hope this is not reflective of your true feelings. I enjoyed reading the first two stanzas and I like the seasons of my thought. Nice! An...

Mac, thanks for posting k-j's tips. I've copied and saved them for reference. Thanks Kev. Perhaps I'll have a look at rewriting to remove the inversion. But then again probably not. It's seen the light of day now so may just let it lie. Hi Seth. All good mate. Thanks. David ... I agree with you abou...

Thank you Kev, David, Namyh. Glad it gave you a laugh. That was its mission.
Wazza

Just for fun. There’s Really Nothing To It I found a piece of nothing in my back yard yesterday. I’d planned to mow the lawn so tried to move the piece away. I thought to get behind it, backing off and sneaking round. But it sensed my every movement and steadfastly held its ground. Nothing made me ...

Luke, I think it's great. I think many of us can see something of ourselves in that metaphor. I really like the way The shrub and stood alone are separated. Would it have been possible to make the last stanza similar in construct ie in the playground ........ looking back. Whatever, a brief but enjo...

Hi David, I can't find any part of your poem to be critical about. Perhaps I don't read into a poem as analytically as others. I'm fine with the 'nice lie in'. Very comfortable words. What's better than a nice Sunday lie-in? Ros suggested that I read some of your pieces. Glad she did.
Wazza