Poetry Forum

Nice, and a good finish.

In weedless borders
hoarders in needless corners
pile up their rubbish

I think borders works perfectly well, lovely poem.

When I read the first line I thought of Henry Cooper...and perhaps well into the third verse too but that initial misinterpretation aside I thoroughly enjoyed this. Clay released the tiller. and the boat began to sing I liked very much. The last verse was the weakest and seems, perhaps incorrectly, ...

see, poetry is easy

Enjoyed, I'm a sucker for poems about the horned gods and those first three lines are a hook.

Nice work John.

Make a scenic view
or offer shade to the dead
glooms of the yew tree

There’s something Whimanesque about this poem and the overall sentiment I liked.
It’s very concise too.
Enjoyed

I found the sheer amount of conversational information difficult to absorb

I did like these lines though-

They’ll say they’ve found a planet
in some far off constellation
or a coin that’s been withdrawn from circulation.

Those are quite brilliant.

Now I might be missing something here like a sequence of deliberately archaic verse as part of a bigger schedule you're working on.

That said it is charming and as has also been said, intriguing.

This is good. I enjoyed its structure and its comparisons. Tidy little number.

My only crit would be that the last line seems throw away and weak.

Nice, evocative of Ted Hughes with only a sense of the animal being near and with stark awareness.

I also hear rhyme where there actually isn't any which sometimes happens with a good poem.

My only nit would be that it's too short which could be a compliment.

Now I enjoyed the delayed rhyme but had trouble making the whole thing roll but that could just be my rhythm that's out. With limited experience of your writing I didn't expect this structure as I associated you more toward prose poetry. in this dull room where all the years that made me older lose ...

Cheers Tony, good to have another perspective.

Enjoyed your bottle-digging poem btw good stuff

Good

again
at 5 a.m. A robot took that job

Particularly liked that line

In awe of your ability and enthusiasm. Hopefully I can muster a fraction of the same and get back into it. The comments here have certainly given me some impetus.

That’s seriously impressive and if ever you’re in Perth, Australia and need any plumbing work done, I’m your man

Thanks Lia The ‘it’s’ are auto typos and I should’ve scanned the text properly for that. I’ll make those corrections later. I’m glad you enjoyed the language/ style that’s what gives us individuality. I agree with yours and Kris’ suggestions on the hyphens and your alternative to the repeated ‘this’...

Thanks David. Nice to hear from you blokes again.

Cheers Ray. Tyldesley, centre of international finance and holiday destination of the rich and famous.

‘National Trust’ is a particular favourite and contains a bit of what I was on about.

Ta

Cheers Kris and if I can get back into writing I’ll consider posting in experienced. I like the hyphens and the encouraging response.

Dave

Very good

I like when rhyme is used between languages and in such a concise way, Tony Harrison can do that quite well too.

Good job.

Any education accompanied by music is fine by me

Well if you think it might improve my punctuation I'll give it a listen.