Poetry Forum

Perry, Technically, this piece is very sound. I mentioned already its clarity and can now add that I see no issue with the length. The narrative has a fullness that is appropriate and well developed. I read this as a cautionary tale/confession. The poet/narrator has insight and without faltering in ...

Perry,

You are able to strike some very deep chords. Your writing is clear and this makes the dramatic effect even greater. I will wait until the effect dissipates and then I will return to consider the technical aspects.

Pinky

Perry,

I do hope you will give it another try.

Pinky

Hi Perry, Thank you for taking the time to read. Esoteric? I imagine that for some it could be so. I am baffled about how you came to know my poetic aim? You may have me confused with someone else. I leave fascination to perfume marketers. My aim was to generate curiosity. Glad to know I was success...

James,

Your notes have been useful and have given me a lot to think on.

I will let this one sit for a bit.



Pinky

Hi Macavity, Never been a fan of the "what if". It is a poor substitute in this instance, as we have their dueling ideas of free will and Tolstoy's threatened and yawning disavowal of Dostoevsky creating drama enough. In poetry as in life, I stay away from sloppy drunks. :) Dostoevsky's se...

Hi 1lankest, Upon seeing the title I was expecting stomping and exits, so was pleasantly surprised by your boot shrine. The loss and haunting come across slowly and surely. These you left, canvassed in paint This is an interesting twister that needs some attention and so may interrupt the flow of th...

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NQS, Second Hand Accounts, as in a witnessing I am guessing...reporting from the/a front infested by lords and bugs? I was curious about your ratty lords and enjoyed the read, yet thought L3 did not do them justice. at supper that the table's set for them. I imagine that any surface, horizontal, ver...

An f.y.i on the state of Eastern European poetry: there is quite a lot of it out there, though translations maybe hard to get.

Pinky

James, You have zeroed in on my most defensive line (which pleases me as it suggests that you are reading closely). Hello Pinky: empiricist's I still think you muddy the water: we are cruel and critical towards empiricists. Was Freud one? Regards James From day one, I have been asking whether I coul...

JamesM, My thought was that desire need not be attributed. I was generalizing it as I do later in "we tend to be critical and cruel onlookers". I had felt comfortable that my "make them submit" would point to the subjects in the previous line. Will look over it again. Please let ...

Perry, This piece is put together well, but I cannot bring myself to praise it because I am fully against its sentiment. I also get the sense that the poet/(you) doesn't quite believe it either, as though there is a pause waiting to be filled with "insults hurled against necessity", follow...

Macavity and JamesM, I appreciate your willingness and maybe even investment in this piece. Yes there is a substantial feeling of intransigence that is resolved or sublimated by the end of the poem. There is even some humanity...please humour me, Macavity :) . The first word of the poem was selected...

Hi Lotus, "Dexterous prayer beads" is still, pleasingly in my head. Could you make the text more accessible for study, by sharing it as plain text? As a reader, I am subdued by the gentle touches and curious about the connections. The poet puts forth the wondrous with little effort, leavin...

Hi James, thank you for your review. Though it seems to be saying, quite brilliantly: science is constantly moving the goalposts in what is empirically unknowable...for now. A bit of:There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Humorous, thought-provokin...

Wonderful to have a Lotus among us!

Hi Lotus,

Yes New Mexico makes me think of little green people as well . I am keeping such allusions out of my piece as I am "trying" to commemorate an English author for whom the place was significant.

Have you ever visited New Mexico?

Pinky

Hi Macavity, thank you for taking time to read. Some suffer from bad hair or ill fitting glasses, hi Pinky, I think the poem needs more of those lines for humour and to bring more of the 'human' into the poem. [While generally a good thing, more humour in this piece would take it toward the comic, w...

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bjondon, I so much appreciate poetry about poetry, and this is no exception. It seems this piece is about a master poet bequeathing (mildly cutting) advice to a would-be poet. At first reading it comes off that the master poet is making contrary demands on/about poetry, yet (we are meant to understa...

Hi ton321, This piece really played with my mind. I laughed, uncomfortably, and became eerily curious. I had planned to comment on its almost haphazard structure, yet that is part of its charm: it is all over the place yet still commands to be read. Loved with one nail in it that was quite rusty and...

Hi 1lankest, This is a great read and it seems as though you have diligently worked through each word and image closely. I enjoyed the words and images, yet was left with feeling that it lacked context or a container -- and that may have been your intention. I see two possible readings of this piece...

JJ, Though some of the content is lost to me, for example: mah myn, the spirit of nature storming on nature comes across vividly and beautifully. We are surrounded by commanding and withstanding elements. Hi JJ, I can’t really comment on the Scots accent as I don’t know it well enough, although I di...

Hello Perry, The piece does not come across as pretentious to me. In fact there is a depth of loss created subtly by allusions to cold, paleness, thinness and distance, as well as other more direct elements. I wonder whether the piece is missing its counterbalance? Meaning that though the loss comes...

Bjondon, Thank you for the welcome. I enjoyed your detailed and spirited review. very rousing, and an interesting choice of hoary old masters . . . are we going to get the whole suite? Soon, I will brandish my Blake. 8) [/b] "follow!" aot 'to be followed works for me. L4 felt a bit lazy, b...