Poetry Forum

Well at least you recognise a sonnet!

Structure is not my strong point, ahem.

I love this poem. The flow and choice of words are excellent. However, I'm not keen on the last two lines. Perhaps you could make this poem a little longer and really fill out the ending. It just seems like a slightly unnatural progression at the moment.

The Intruder So tenderly your body lies, Legs all curled up between my thighs, I watch you breathe in heavy sighs, And desperation fills my eyes. So tenderly you sleep my dear, In peaceful oblivion to my fear, The darkness shields a heavy tear, But leaves your shut eyes shining clear. So tenderly yo...

classy!

love this

it's one of those poems that gets you thinking about it all day

the subject is the main part of the poem rather than fancy words with no content

thanks to everyone who replied to my last post... i did read them, but then lost this link for about 3 months and couldn't reply :) i've just finished playing with this one... it needs a title though... i speak with tongues of men and angels i have not money i have not worry i walk with real height ...

no

i'm going off this one a bit now...

let me know what you think

thankyou

wicked! love it!!

does anyone-else think the word fucking just doesn't look right when written?... when you read it, you have to read the g, but has anyone ever pronounced the g? ever?

grinning, skeleton, sinew fingernails, yellow teeth enamel no spirit, no feelings no guilt free to sleep at night wake up but want to dream mourning light glare pale white skin shimmering bloodless no shaking just a routine work rest play, eat flesh so i wake up, soul intact and it was all just a dr...

nice one...

some lines slightly bug me though...

Briefly check out the talent
She’s fit and she knows it
etc...

sound a bit too 'The Streets' for me

good work though...

would be nice if it had some sort of ending though... or maybe that's the point?!!!

wow! blew my mind. it's there for a reason... not just poetry for poetry's sake see i don't really understand why someone can be 'a poet' by trade... you could be someone who expresses things through poetry... but if you're writing books and books and meating deadlines, you're just talking for talki...

I'm new to this and feel a bit sillly/pretentious commenting on other people's work... haven't read/studied much and don't really know alot about poetry... if you think i'm talking b*******, just tell me, i shan't be offended :) Anyway... for me poetry (in fact art in general) is about passing on a ...