Poetry Forum

Bruce Dickinson's modified version of the preface to "Milton" by Blake on his solo album "Chemical Wedding" entitled "Jerusalem". Jim Morrison used lines from Blake's "Auguries of Innocence" in the Doors' "End of the Night". Ozzy Osbourne's "Mr....

thoughts & theologies burst from the bottle
flowing philosophies' surfeit we swallow
our decades of dreams dissolved in a day,
conscience now crashes in unconscious waves

Very nice piece here, AS. Reworking the third stanza would make this even better, I think. Perhaps:

Skin aglow with ardent youth--
long ago that was
and yet you outstand
time in my mind.

Just tossin' in my two cents...

life becomes insane
when nocturnal demons
chase us thru the dawn

endless cemetery years
buried in adhesive tears
now the Scythe seeks to mesh
with your weak, mind-tortured flesh

child of sorrow,
maiden of sadness,
erect my gallows
in your madness

we leave behind
brilliant shadows of our lives

Liked the language in this piece, B!