Poetry Forum

Hi Phil,

It does feel familiar! I posted a different take on the same question a few months ago. I prefer this version, I am hoping it's more of a poem and less of a lecture than the original. It is in fact a new poem, and I've discarded the old one, for now at least.

Cheers,
John

to the metallic?

An unexpected ending! Nice image as well, the N's former self bending over the rails.

Cheers,
John

Even Better than the Real Thing I who once featured in a fashion show have little truck with fashion now. The call that I should favor Pepsi over Coke, in drinking, does not pique my interest – it leaves me cold. My trousers too, have they grown narrow as they ought? No, they have not. Or do I say t...

I like it. Great eyes.

Cheers,
John

Hi Caleb,

I agree, this could be trimmed a bit. The core of the poem is the shift from your discomfort to the memory of the homeless lady. It's good to keep her vivid.

Cheers,
John

I tend to prefer black voices to white ones, by a fair margin, and harmony speaks to me. My fave Peter Gabriel song is I think Biko. I do wonder whether black Americans tend to be readier to express emotion than white Americans culturally, and this makes for truer singing. True about aging. It seems...

It's a good song. My brother is a bigger fan of both of their music than I am, it's not really my scene.

Here's something I find more soulful:

Hi Caleb, I did this; I did that is I think a pretty good description of most poems in existence! But it's true, this poem wanders along in the way of my meandering pieces. I think that maps some of how the traveler or tourist wanders through the foreign land. It is impressionistic. Anyway, de gusti...

Hi Caleb,

To me, "Last night was a special delivery from Hades" has a feminine ending. And yes, to me English has them.

I agree, a person shouldn't be forced into a shelter. But it lingers in the mind, as you note.

Cheers,
John

Thanks Phil! We leave Kyoto for Osaka tomorrow, then Seoul and back to Almaty.

Yoshiro-san told us he goes to the cemetery regularly to see the dead. But he hasn't seen them yet.

CHeers,
John

Hi Caleb, I was wondering about changing from Hades to Hell! It makes sense, but OTOH I think there's an argument form aking the entire poem have feminine endings, since you have a bunch of them and they seem to be working. I think the turn to the homeless lady works very well and gives the poem une...

The infinite monkey theorem: https://www.theguardian.com/science/202 ... hakespeare.

And here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinite_monkey_theorem

Cheers,
John

The Moon in Other Countries The bullet train from Osaka to Kyoto is decked in Hello Kitty gear. And come from South Korea over misty seas, we reached the mountains of Japan, inclined abruptly to the water line and green as though unpeopled. Clustered at their base, the islands’ townsfolk. All along ...

It all depends what enough time means. Give the monkey infinite time and if it keeps tapping away, it will indeed write the complete works of Shakespeare. Infinite time is a long time, and that would then be enough time. But given a monkey's lifespan, one might assume that it would be long dead befo...

Weird, huh?

John