Poetry Forum

I spy all the parts to one big pattern, Too many lights to count, Each one stellar. All connected if not joined in theory, Never weary, Stars remain infinite. Burning action in inaction They need nothing yet give light; Little force of guidance in the night and As I navigate a path on seas I cannot ...

A great play on words here, very good. I think you need to pay closer attention to punctuation: one question mark doesn't cover it. Not sure if using a participle in V1 L3 works that well. There is a certain shadiness to your behaviour, you hide away from my sun yet still glance at it - Just a thou...

I like it for all the imagery etc, as already noted. I used to love Polly Pockets!

Personally, I wouldn't use a comma before Polly Pocket, in the final stanza ... if you wanted a pause before it maybe just put it on a separate line for emphasis. But I guess its personal preference.

'Poets have no secrets' Someone said - My biggest secret is me. You knew it as well as anyone, And snatched up a piece as you left. Now alone there is no check On the nag in my head, I cling to all you said as if in dreams; You were not here, Or so it seems. Are the memories true? Or pictures I buil...

I like so many things about this poem... but it's slightly problematic for me at the same time. As has already been noted the poem is slightly cryptic on the first few reads, I'd probably change the title. Again, as noted, it seems like a riddle-me-ree you'd read as a child, the ones that end 'what ...

Hi - my first crit! I shall step forth shakily... I really like the pace of this poem but I think a little more punctuation in places would help it and not necessarily slow it down. that may just be a personal preference though. Must say, I do like the use of the word proletariat, similarly tapestry...

Hi, I'm Char, here's a brief hello... I'm a 22 year old female who fell in love with poetry during A-Levels around four years ago. I haven't studied any form of literature since then, but I never stopped writing poetry and recently really miss my English teacher critiquing my work. Lately I've been ...