Poetry Forum

When I first saw the thread title, I thought maybe it was a poem about being blocked on Facebook, reading it through several times without reading the comments, made it clear it wasn't. :P I didn't quite see the "disconnections" as some others have, perhaps I wasn't perceiving it in the sa...

Hidden in an attic's trade among the breath of lavendar hugs I came across two shades of you. The chestnut mantelpiece and music box awoke memories. The gaze was calm much like the frosty forest green that you wore. Your gaze hardened one day, like a gem. And I never truly knew why, for the forest n...

It is a beautiful poem me thinks. You certainly got your point across without making it difficult to understand, and for some stretch of the imagination it applies to me in a way. Is there a reason you did not make paragraphs? I also felt that a more powerful feeling could have been portrayed if som...

Interesting title ha, and an even more interesting poem. Before I start looking into this too much, was this just a reminiscing type of poem, or was there more to it? Reading the second stanza I felt the small ears were a metaphor for a close-minded individual, but the rest of the poem doesn't follo...

Arunansu, fair enough. Keep them coming, I like the imagery you bring with these poems, it has me wanting to read more!

Well written as always, though I'm not quite sure I understand it, but I would like to know the meaning behind it. I particularly like "That day I could discern craters of ivory moon". I think it has a great ending too, is that supposed to represent difficulties in life guiding people to m...

Why are you talking about your love for Steve Vai (the virtuouso guitarist) and then ending the poem with a line from Eric Clapton's Layla? I'm afraid I don't understand the poem at all.

Ahahaha mate, well done! That was a bit of an amusing read, wouldn't be too popular in all circles though.

Another great poem which could certainly be extended! Is the last paragraph in reference to a statue?

I think this is a really good start to what could be a great poem. I'm not sure why you split it up in to three different "My India"'s ~ I like the first and second one's a lot. I certainly think the first poem could definitely be extended because the second one doesn't really flow from it...

Haha...is this a poem or just saying you love us?

Hi Arunansu, For the most part I think you could have done quite well by not making this a haibun. Though if you were experimenting, I can understand. As always, you have some great lines; "my father appeared to be at the pink of his health" , "grand sculpture in his black garb" ...

Oh dear...lol, Very well written of course, I'm interested to know the inspiration behind writing something like this, the "second glass of wine" bit I thought was a bit disgusting since I immediately thought of err...instant recycling. Too many clever lines to point out, but nar...he got ...

Hi moondrifter, Thankfully you kept this short because I didn't quite like the way it started, and the way you went about phrasing this. Not a big fan of capitalizing every single word that doesn't need to be, it makes it quite difficult to read, unless you want to achieve something specifically in ...

Nar, this is a simple yet very meaningful poem to many I'm sure. I always think poems written about one's feelings are usually the best, if it's not, pardon me because you've managed to capture the sentiments quite well. I agree with Suzanne that the "Twenty years and counting, at different spe...

Hey there, That certainly is a very good poem for a first attempt, as for the structure...just simply take a look at how poems are structured on the internet. Strictly speaking there is no specific structure you have to adhere to. Glad to see you write on themes you feel strongly about, the best com...

I actually thought this was quite neat...the dripping fresh paint being the droplets of water moving down the wall, and the colour seemingly moving along with it like paint. I do not understand what S2 has to do with S1 though

I also lost the meaning of this poem half-way through, it certainly is an interesting piece and would like to know what it means. The title doesn't help either. For some reason I laughed when I first read it and then I got peeved. The 'age of the rape joke' I assume is when rape is joked about these...

It seemed like you had a little trouble with some of the rhymes like David said, but this was a good poem. I certainly like the use of old fashioned words like "dither", I look forward to reading poems like this, but it may not strike a chord with everyone since this is a contemporary foru...

Hi Dirbax, I like this poem in some ways, it's got a rap kind of rhythm to it, but you do need to fix up some lines to make it flow better. Consider changing the end of the second line in S1, the entire poem rhymes, except that line. "Taking lesson from this one" ?? - Perhaps "taking ...

A few people explained this to me and I got it then, I'd have to disagree that 'God the Father' is in the same library, but it was well thought out and written.

Hi guys, thanks for the comments. I agree with David, it is indeed too verbose, it was done about 10 months ago, I was the ultimate newbie back then so I got a little over enthusiastic, but I'm learning how to use the more interesting words carefully now by reading how the experienced poets on this ...

Could someone be kind enough to explain this poem to me, I have absolutely no idea what this is about, first and only thing that comes to mind is the Trinity in terms of Christianity.

Earth brings a memory here, distant as the Irish cattle-herd fairs, but vivid as the birth of a firstborn. A golden kiss greets me, reminds me of a better day...but the cold north winds still linger, fragmenting it. This ghostly shell watches in vain. Earth festers and my essence desicates, useless ...

While your use of that inverted forty stringed instrument here is bloody clever to epitomise Plato's Uncle and his forty thieves, I can't seem to decode whether you're attacking or defending Plato's murderous introduction of Democracy over Athenian existentialism. Then again it's early morning and ...