TRB 1: And the days... Ezra Pound

[JohnLott]

This poem was on my list too:

We do not have enough time to do all the things we want to
and yet in all our endeavours we are no more than a field mouse
not being noticed.

But this only works at the personal, pschye level for surely
we have made a whole lot of noticeable mess on this Earth?

The cleverness of this poem is that with each of the first two lines
your mind roams off to remember what you did in past days and nights
Two lines open a vast library of your life events.

And then you are reminded of the insignificance of it, in the higher scheme of things
and you dwell on why we can create an 'other' world while still living in the real one, with frailty.

There is nothing I would fault with this for it is a key that opens doors; and is that not the essence of a poet?



J.

[oggiesnr]

For me it is the multiple means of the word "full" on which the poem hangs. He could have said "long" but that would limit the meaning. "Full" implies many things such as length but also actions (as in fullfilled) with an implication that there is more that could be done within the time allotted. So how then have we spent our prescious time? Could/should we have done more? How "full" have we made the days and nights?

Thanks for posting, it's a great idea.

Steve

PS I know I've come to the party late but life has been getting in the way recently.

[Suzanne]

Steve,

Full as is fulfilling, yes, I agree. We can all be busy but that is not what he is talking about. I am glad you commented. Welcome to the party.

Warmly,
Suzanne

[bodkin]

But we met and I left and failed
but we slept and I woke and failed
but flowers that you planted in my pot
still bloom

--

Ros said there were 8 beats in the firs three lines, but I think she meant syllables.

To my mind the beats go:

3
3
4
2

Anybody want to disagree?

If you agree, do you think this is two groupings of 6 beats, and having the break in a different place in the second sets it up for being the end of the poem? I've tried to do something similar with my beats here...

I'm not sure I rate this is a truly great poem. It's very brief and its easy to sound Delphic and wise in terse verses.

I does have strength and is very memorable, however.

Do think that it is a progression from an abstraction (but which is directly about the subject) to a concrete image (which is a simile) is an important part of the technique?

Great idea this, I had no idea it was going on.

Ian

[Nash]

To my mind the beats go:

3
3
4
2

Anybody want to disagree?

That's interesting, I read it as:

2
2
3
2


And I read your example as:

3
3
3
2

[David]

To my mind the beats go:

3
3
4
2

Anybody want to disagree?

That's interesting, I read it as:

2
2
3
2

Me too. At a very stately pace.

[bodkin]

Well mine may just be wrong

But his, to my mind goes:

Code: Select all

And the days are not full enough
.   .   ^    .   .   ^    . ^
And the nights are not full enough
.   .   ^      .   .   ^    . ^
And life slips by like a field mouse
.   ^    .     ^  .    .  ^     ^
      Not shaking the grass
      .   ^   .   .   ^

Although I could hear some stress on "not..."

I was trying for:

Code: Select all

But we met and I left and failed
.   .  ^   .   . ^    .   ^
but we slept and I woke and failed
.   .  ^     .   . ^    .   ^
but flowers that you planted in my pot
.   ^       .    ^   ^   .   .  .  ^
still bloom
^     ^

Although in practise "that you" can be pretty even stress...

Gosh it is a long time since I worried about this sort of thing

Ian

[oggiesnr]

Interesting. I find that the hard "b" in "but" invites a stress which throws all the calculations out in a way that "and" doesn't

Your last line may have two stresses but IMHO it needs padding to soften the effect, something like -

"are still bloomimg"

I know this alters the sense a bit but I use it as an exemplar only.

Steve

[bodkin]

Interesting. I find that the hard "b" in "but" invites a stress which throws all the calculations out in a way that "and" doesn't

Your last line may have two stresses but IMHO it needs padding to soften the effect, something like -

"are still bloomimg"

I know this alters the sense a bit but I use it as an exemplar only.

Steve

Yes, I went with the "but"s just to try and be slightly less obvious than "and"...

("Slightly-Less Obvious" are two of my middle names, just after "Stubborn" and before "Perpendicular"...)

...but I agree it is much less "slight" than "and" and could attract a stress.

(Especially if the stress was a bit drunk and had just broken up with the other half of a spondee )

I'd be just as happy with your version of the last line, it only changes it from general time to a specific time and that's no big in this instance.

Ian

[bodkin]

To my mind the beats go:

3
3
4
2

Anybody want to disagree?

That's interesting, I read it as:

2
2
3
2

Me too. At a very stately pace.

Would you be stressing the "day and the "not"?

And what? "life", "by" and "field" in L3?

It could be read like that, yes... it feels a bit casual a way of doing L1/L2, a bit conversational

but then one can do that also...

Hmm...

Ian

[Nash]

Gosh it is a long time since I worried about this sort of thing

Fun though isn't it?

I'd stress it like this Ian:


And the days are not full enough
And the nights are not full enough
And life slips by like a field mouse
Not shaking the grass.

[bodkin]

Gosh it is a long time since I worried about this sort of thing

Fun though isn't it?

I'd stress it like this Ian:


And the days are not full enough
And the nights are not full enough
And life slips by like a field mouse
Not shaking the grass.

Right, that's almost the same as me, only I would stress the end of each "enough" e.g. more like in

"I have had enough" than in "well-enough liked"

and I thought "field mouse" would be apt to come out a spondee

But these are differences in quantity not quality, as I can easily see those as weaker stresses.

So we agree!

Ten points each and a free move.

Ian

[Nash]

Hooray for us!!!

[Deryn]

Hi all, I loved this thread, thanks.

It is so nice to hear people discussing a piece of work. The internet has replaced our poetry meeting on the whole I guess. There was a time such meeting would be held in public house and peoples houses over a pint or a cup of tea. Thanks goodness for The Poets Graves Workshop I say.

As to Ezra, wow, what a powerful piece of writing. I believe you have to be in a certain place in your head to produce such words. Personally it renders me speechless for a while as my mind tries to absorb the moment.

Here is my little effort. Not on par with you guys but an effort all the same.

And my eyes are not seeing now
And my ears are not hearing now
And time runs out like a night owl
Not heralding dusk.

Deryn Bach.

[Suzanne]

This has been a great thread, I agree Deryn, thanks to all.
Nice you stopped by, Deryn.

It is lovely to banter and learn from others, I , too , would like it to be at the nearby watering hole but this will do.

Your effort is not bad at all. Glad to see you sticking around and joining in. Smile, there are a few more threads to read after TRB 1. Come on in.

Suzanne

[David]

Here is my little effort. Not on par with you guys but an effort all the same.

And my eyes are not seeing now
And my ears are not hearing now
And time runs out like a night owl
Not heralding dusk.

Deryn Bach.

Deryn, I think that's a very good effort. You've got the rhythm (as I hear it) exactly right, unlike some of the other remodels. My mind goes into a bit of a spin trying to imagine a night owl not heralding dusk, but it's been a long day.

Cheers

David

[Deryn]

Hi David,

how about:

And my eyes are not seeing now
And my ears are not hearing now
And time runs out like a cuckoo
Not heralding spring.

The more I try with those last 2 lines, the more I realize just how profound Ezra has been with his last 2. I'll stick my first 2 lines though.

As for the last 2, I'm still thinking.

Deryn Bach.

[David]

I like the sound of the previous version better, Deryn. Isn't that always the way?

[GPDS]

Hi Suzanne et al - sorry for the late arrival; only discovered this today!

I think I was disappointed after the first read but then again I always am when I read 'poetry' and then I remembered what you had written in your opening post about this whole idea of yours. So I re-read said poem a few times and continued to read the whole thread (I've really enjoyed reading it and hope to catch up with you all asap!).

What I've found I really like about it is its 'out of space & time' character particularly when it is describing the passage of both. It's metaphysical in nature and as JohnLott said earlier, it is a 'key' that opens doors (really liked the way you phrased that John)

So, my attempt...

But the universe has no edge
But all images have an edge
So everything is meaningless
In sentient heads


Thanks
GPDS

[Suzanne]

Hey, that is a enjoyable poem. Nice to have you join the discussion.

Warmly,
Suzanne

[Milu]

I love Ezara Pound. He is one of the most compelling literary figures I have ever encountered (if you don't know his personal history he was the godfather of modernist poetry, and he was eventually jailed for supporting Mussolini. He spent many years in an outdoor cage writing poetry on a type writer, only to have it be ripped up once he was done writing it by American forces(incidentally that is where he wrote his most beautiful cantos). He spent most of his later-life in a mental hospital.)

I believe this poem was written when he was going through his imagist phase (he created a movement of poets who tried to write as simply as possible to create the most vivid imagery). I was reading a book about him, and I found that being a linguist, he actually drew a lot of inspiration for his imagist poetry from haikus. If anyone likes this style of poetry, they should look into Hilda Doolittle, or HD.

Anyways, done ranting about how I am an Ezra Pound fangirl.

I love the simplicity of this poem. It doesn't use elevated diction or fancy imagery. It just says simply states the sad inevitable truth, but in a wholly unique way.