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New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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nar
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Fri Aug 06, 2010 8:26 pm

Christ commented on his status.
You and eleven others like this.

You changed your relationship
status to It's Complicated.

Thirty Pieces of Silver.
Click here to accept.

PP poked you:
poke back.


- Neil.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Lovely
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Fri Aug 06, 2010 8:41 pm

I love my Dante.........what Jesus I love my dear Dante and David.
Can I die next time I am alive............what?

There are some negatives in this work but it has opened my sad eyes
try to make her positive not for me, but yourself.

Dave
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Fri Aug 06, 2010 9:00 pm

Hey Nar,

Great subject to approach, the old "social networks" I reckon you could have done more with it though. Maybe bought the disciples in making inane comments about the latest fishing quotas in galilea? Jesus trying to get off with Mary Magdaline! Oh yes the possibilites are endless, lol.
"You have no idea what obstinate hair mine is, Copperfield. I am quite a fretful porcupine"
brianedwards
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Sat Aug 07, 2010 12:23 am

Neat. Sharp. Like this.

B.
nar
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Sat Aug 07, 2010 7:56 pm

Thanks, guys.

CD: Yeah, it might be worth expanding on, but I'm a lazy writer ;).

B: Thanks.

- Neil
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
ray miller
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Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:18 pm

First couplet is sublime. Rest is pretty good, too.But here I have to confess my ignorance: what does it mean when someone pokes you on Facebook. Is it like just a reminder that the other person is thinking of you or what? Kate Moss keeps poking me.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
nar
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Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:32 pm

what does it mean when someone pokes you on Facebook
It means their loins ache for you.
Kate Moss keeps poking me
Fair enough Ray, but just this once.

- Neil.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Cryptic Cadence
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Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:11 am

Ahahaha mate, well done! That was a bit of an amusing read, wouldn't be too popular in all circles though.
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