When the sky clears after a downpour,
potholes reflect diamond shine.
Hand-pulled rickshaw
rambles in lane with its dull tinkle
And passes by a few carefree children,
their wet bodies naked to the waist.
Playing with rainbows in a cooled afternoon.
[ 2.9.2010]
Kolkata diary
Last edited by arunansu on Sun Sep 05, 2010 5:23 am, edited 3 times in total.
-
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 4902
- Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
- antispam: no
- Location: Land of the Midnight Sun
Oh no, my weather is bitter cold and your poems are soooo summery still! It was almost painful to read of such weather. I smile, i did enjoy it. Lol.
glittery bodies is not quite right though unless they have glitter of some sort. My opinion though.
Thanks for that glimpse of rainbow.
I am cold.
Suzanne
glittery bodies is not quite right though unless they have glitter of some sort. My opinion though.
Thanks for that glimpse of rainbow.
I am cold.
Suzanne
Yep , you are right. Wet bodies would be more appropriate here. Thanks Suzanne.
I like this a lot. it shows an excellent grasp of the needs of poetry. I wonder if you should not be on the experienced. Thjis is really great stuff and I have read the the other poems in the sequence, I wonder if you might think of putting them together and posting it on the experienced site.
There are some beautiful images and I like the way that you create the feeling of being drawn into the world of the poem.
I can't say that I have a favourite. They are equally great in their own way.
There are some beautiful images and I like the way that you create the feeling of being drawn into the world of the poem.
I can't say that I have a favourite. They are equally great in their own way.
Art is not a mirror to reflect the world, but a hammer with which to shape it.
[right]Vladimir Mayakovsky[/right]
[right]Vladimir Mayakovsky[/right]
Thanks Dennis. For the last three years I have been preparing myself to enter the "Experienced" section. Need some more time. I recently posted one there. Smiles. Thanks you again for the appreciation.
Hi Arun, I agree with Denis, this is a very accomplished set of poems and when you post your sets separately there is a chance that we might miss one. I like the diary idea, i'd also like to see them altogether. liked this one very much. tess
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." Henry David Thoreau
Thank you Tess. Smiles.
-
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Tue Sep 14, 2010 6:14 pm
Nice opening; fiercely evocative of something distinctly, poetically season specific.
"wet bodies naked to the waist"
Such an unmistakable image of innocence and sensory nostalgia; I felt like I was there, running the streets in the rain, inhibition-free with the other kids. Well done.
"wet bodies naked to the waist"
Such an unmistakable image of innocence and sensory nostalgia; I felt like I was there, running the streets in the rain, inhibition-free with the other kids. Well done.