THE POWERS OF THE SEA
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G'day member of the Poets Graves, this poem was wriiten for the Boxing Day Tsunami in 2004, but i have decided to post it again in respect for the earthquake and Tsunami that struck Japan last week.
THE POWERS OF THE SEA
As Tsunami waves came crashing,
To the homes above the shore,
Family lives were broken,
Like nothing seen before.
On that day of devastation,
By the ocean's rising tide,
Many people were left homeless,
Well as many thousands died.
The shock of what had happened,
In the future, left to be,
When nations come together,
In,'The Powers Of The Sea'.
Duncan Williams. (Australia)
THE POWERS OF THE SEA
As Tsunami waves came crashing,
To the homes above the shore,
Family lives were broken,
Like nothing seen before.
On that day of devastation,
By the ocean's rising tide,
Many people were left homeless,
Well as many thousands died.
The shock of what had happened,
In the future, left to be,
When nations come together,
In,'The Powers Of The Sea'.
Duncan Williams. (Australia)
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Oh fuck off.
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I imagine what Brian's trying to say is that this is rather a list of cliched comments that don't give us any sense of the enormity of what has happened - I'm afraid it's just coming across as just trite. And I have no idea what you're trying to say in the last four lines - how can the shock be 'left to be'? In what way are nations coming together?
Ros
Ros
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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I think if I were stuck in the middle of it, I'd be less than impressed by this sort of glibness too, though I admit it could be phrased with a little more subtlety.JohnLott wrote:brianedwards,
that was devastatingly obtuse
J.
Ros
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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Antiphon - www.antiphon.org.uk
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Antiphon - www.antiphon.org.uk
Hello Ros,
I thought Duncan Williams was a PG/brianedwards Banter Buddy.
I didn't realise his contribution was real.
J.
ps I have evened out the lines in Connected and removed the rhyming as you suggested - and put in some punctuation.
I thought Duncan Williams was a PG/brianedwards Banter Buddy.
I didn't realise his contribution was real.
J.
ps I have evened out the lines in Connected and removed the rhyming as you suggested - and put in some punctuation.
Before you shave with Occam’s razor - Try epilation or microlaser
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Oh dear. Oh dear me. Sorry Duncan, but no. For this reader, it's a non-starter. Its dismissive sentimentality and meaningless 'philosophising' (as Ros says, the last bit) is just the start of its problems.
Still, good to see it's helping someone! Well done JL for using someone else's thread to promote your own work!
peter
Still, good to see it's helping someone! Well done JL for using someone else's thread to promote your own work!
peter
I must admit I have to agree with with the first above comment here.
Nature is nature.
There is no simple answer to this, only hope from despair.
Carry on.
Today's Motto: What is it when one looses all? And the acrid
stench of the dead reminds us all we are upon hellish grounds and dead? 'Swift'". One of the best...
Nature is nature.
There is no simple answer to this, only hope from despair.
Carry on.
Today's Motto: What is it when one looses all? And the acrid
stench of the dead reminds us all we are upon hellish grounds and dead? 'Swift'". One of the best...
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Oh do you? Well I beg to differ, I think a simple fuck off is far more subtle than this utter shite deserves.Ros wrote:
I admit it could be phrased with a little more subtlety.
Ros
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Hi guys, Johnlot, Ros, Arian and Lovely. thanks a heap!
(to BrianEdwards) Thats not real nice mate. the poem wasn't for you to comment on, if you read the first introduction relating to the poem.
as it was for the Boxing Day Tsunami in 2004.
Duncan.
(to BrianEdwards) Thats not real nice mate. the poem wasn't for you to comment on, if you read the first introduction relating to the poem.
as it was for the Boxing Day Tsunami in 2004.
Duncan.
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DW - persistent offender of the eye and ear, makes no attempt whatsoever to curb his glib enthusiasm for painful poetics, isn't interested AT ALL!
Fucking off is the least of his problems...I talk about him in the third person as if he wasn't here, because in essence he isn't.
How about PLEASE fuck off?
Fucking off is the least of his problems...I talk about him in the third person as if he wasn't here, because in essence he isn't.
How about PLEASE fuck off?
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk
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Yer mate ,thanks for telling me about the guy .don't like his work at all!
Duncan.
Duncan.