The Lonely Singer

[EatMyPoetry]

Staring at the bus stop, outside the deathly window
Singing songs of freedom yet I'm trapped in this surrender.

Eighteen months without them, the things that make me happy
Drunken raucous laughter and the awful moments after.

Dim the noisy silence, the deafening din of nothing
Screaming "Changes" at the TV pretending that I'm Bowie

Float off on dreams of telling Eve, the apple of my eye
The only song that I can sing while buses drive on by.

[Suzanne]

Hello,

The rules of the forum state that for every poem posted, you should crit two. Please go read the rules.

Suzanne

[EatMyPoetry]

Sorry, my bad!

Point taken

[ray miller]

I like the rhythm you've got going and I'm quite intrigued by what the lonely singer has gone 18 months without. His band? His drugs? What grated a little with me was the couple of rhymes that crept in - laughter/after, eye/by.

[Suzanne]

Great. I see you have crit one.

I liked

I'm trapped in this surrender.



Suzanne

[LunarTree]

Really good peom, i agree with ray i am still sitting here asking my else what is he been missing for 18months. BRILLIANT

[Len P]

I enjoyed reading and re-reading this. I admire poets who know when to get out of their poem so to speak, when enough has been said.