SciFaiku

[Macavity]

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at altitude kiss
those alien blue lips, warm
the human inside



[tab][/tab][tab][/tab]2

names of boats and mugs
of tea occupy both men -
number three observes



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between dimensions
scanners darkly transmutate
to friend to foe to

[David]

Scifi fun, Mac. I made L2 in the first one to be eight rather than seven, but such syllable-counting is a soulless exercise, isn't it?

Number 1 seems particularly mysterious. Number 2 could have come out of H G Wells, but number 3 seems definitely Dickian. (That's the scanner darkly, of course.)

Some lovely little amuse-bouches, these.

Cheers

David

[oranggunung]

Hi Mac

there's a wealth of story-telling in these little nuggets. I wonder if you have come across haibun? That allows a mixing of descriptive prose and haiku (not necessarily tethered to a rigid 5-7-5 form). While the classic setting for haiku and haibun is the natural world, contemporary writers continue to explore other settings and other presentation styles (e.g. humour, fantasy, horror and, of course, sci-fi). Just a thought, if you wanted to flesh out any of these very condensed stories.

best wishes

og

[bodkin]

Also enjoyed these.

The word "transmutate", while lovely in its own way, might be a little bit adding an unnecessary frill to "transmute". On the other hand SF sometimes does that...

Ian

p.s. og's idea of a SF Haibun--you could do the poetry and text with totally contrasting subject matter--that might be genius...

[Antcliff]

Enjoyed these, Mac. Clearly a form you should make your own.

My favourite was the second, though I did read it as suggesting they were occupied by names of boats and names of mugs of tea...and I am not sure that the second was quite intended? I think mugs of tea do deserve names, but that may be a minority view. It made me think of the third man observing at the moon landing, Aldrin and Armstrong looking to go down.

I enjoyed pondering what was "inside" what in the third.


More.

Seth

[Macavity]

Thanks David, Og, Ian, and Seth. Glad you found some fun in these dabblings.

I wonder if you have come across haibun?

I have Og, but my tendency/habit is to compress rather than expand (like WCW my excuse is work/home commitments).

might be a little bit adding an unnecessary frill to "transmute". On the other hand SF sometimes does that...

Yes, it does Ian

I did read it as suggesting they were occupied by names of boats and names of mugs of tea...and I am not sure that the second was quite intended?

It could be initially read that way Seth, but on the second reading commonsense would...an intended play

Number 1 seems particularly mysterious. Number 2 could have come out of H G Wells, but number 3 seems definitely Dickian. (That's the scanner darkly, of course.)

3, A Scanner Darkly - one of the scariest books I've ever read!

2. The Prisoner - perhaps number 2 would be a greater clue?

1. A combination of altitude sickness and the legend that is Kirk

[Antcliff]

Ah, I see, the prisoner.

I had no idea Kirk romanced to this degree in Star Trek. But then that is probably because I was quite a small lad when watching them and would have been at the stage of not really seeing the point of girls. This will all have gone over my head.


Googling a Scanner Darkly, Mac. Sounds good.

Seth

[Macavity]

Googling a Scanner Darkly, Mac. Sounds good.

I can't really recommend the book Seth. I found it too disturbing.

mac

[KevJ]

Think you may have created a new form here Mac. Love a good bit of sifi.

[Macavity]

Thanks Kev. Not new really.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scifaiku

all the best

mac

[bodkin]

Could we at least claim the SF Haibun? I am going to do one of those, sooner or later...

[Macavity]

Could we at least claim the SF Haibun? I am going to do one of those, sooner or later...

You need a manifesto first!

http://www.scifaiku.com/what/


Perhaps the spam Haiku could be an option for the more expansive writer

http://www.3ammagazine.com/3am/michael-naghten-shanks/

[bodkin]

Wow, that's pretty good too!

[KevJ]

Thanks Kev. Not new really.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scifaiku

all the best

mac

I had no idea! Must give this a go!