Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
juliaromonov15azva
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Mon Apr 06, 2015 11:13 pm

good show on the general principle, and although i know you were just posting to get the ball rolling, i would have liked the OP to be about twice as long.
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JJWilliamson
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Wed Apr 08, 2015 2:30 pm

Humpty Dumpty Days:
fold dozens of omelettes
with smoked English ham
Long time a child and still a child
Katherine
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Wed Apr 08, 2015 4:00 pm

You can't reply to your own haiku JJ!

Humpty Dumpty days!
Shattered, hopeless until you -
My heart's superglue!
nar
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Thu Apr 09, 2015 7:13 pm

My heart's superglue
Only repaired the fracture
Never healed the wound
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Katherine
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Fri Apr 10, 2015 6:16 am

Never healed, the wound
of poverty cuts deep, though
I am now well-heeled.
nar
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Fri Apr 10, 2015 7:28 am

I am now well... healed
in a manner of speaking
by new cowboy boots
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Katherine
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Fri Apr 10, 2015 8:43 pm

By new cowboy boots,
the dog always cocked his leg.
This softens leather.
nar
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Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:22 am

This softens leather
but man's best friend can't yet coax
rawhide into suede...
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
oranggunung
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Wed Apr 15, 2015 6:51 pm

rawhide into suede
now there’s a job even the
Blues Brothers baulk at
KevJ
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Fri Apr 17, 2015 6:12 pm

Blues Brothers baulk at
blue grass and electric pop
It ain't Howlin' Wolf
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
nar
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Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:09 pm

I taint Howlin' Wolf
with blanc overdubbing of
London Drum'n'Bass
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
KevJ
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Fri May 15, 2015 6:38 pm

London drum'n'bass
quite a hot rhythm section
dancing to the beat
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
Marc
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Fri Jun 05, 2015 12:58 pm

dancing to the beat
-ing up of poets who use
enjambment too much
Moth
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Mon Jun 15, 2015 8:07 am

enjambment too much
thought goes into thinking out
the natural flow
to be totally honest... whenever you feel you really shouldn't write that, that's exactly what you should write.
KevJ
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Mon Jun 29, 2015 4:57 am

The natural flow
Interrupted by a dam
Hydroelectric
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
Katherine
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Wed Aug 26, 2015 6:17 pm

Hydroelectric.
That was Armstrong's genius
Cragside was the first!
Marc
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Tue Sep 08, 2015 1:11 pm

Cragside was the first
to have waterfalls of clear
illumination.
Katherine
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Tue Oct 06, 2015 9:30 pm

Illumination
from the foe’s flares, showed to us
our utter darkness.
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JJWilliamson
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Wed Nov 18, 2015 8:54 am

our utter darkness:
showed to us, from the foes flares
illumination.

OK that's cheating :)

Our utter darkness:
A peppered wheelchair, dripping
bloody innocence.
Long time a child and still a child
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TonyMac
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Mon Jan 25, 2016 5:36 pm

bloody innocence
of the ravenous tiger
killing to survive
All that I had I brought,
Little enough I know;
A poor rhyme roughly wrought,
A rose to match thy snow:
All that I had I brought.
(Ernest Dowson 1867 - 1900)
Lake
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Tue Jan 26, 2016 6:51 pm

killing to survive
survive to kill, this cycle --
where is the ending?
Aim, then, to be aimless.
Seek neither publication, nor acclaim:
Submit without submitting.

一 Cameron
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TonyMac
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Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:09 pm

Where is the ending
it is at the beginning
eternal circle
All that I had I brought,
Little enough I know;
A poor rhyme roughly wrought,
A rose to match thy snow:
All that I had I brought.
(Ernest Dowson 1867 - 1900)
Katherine
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Sun Mar 06, 2016 3:30 pm

Eternal circle!?
You’re drawn from a starting point!
Get over yourself!
Halfwrittenpoem
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Mon Mar 28, 2016 3:07 am

Get over yourself!
There are divine things more
Dazzling than words tell.
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TonyMac
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Thu May 26, 2016 3:07 pm

Dazzling than words tell
Are the dentures of my smile
Good for chewing too
All that I had I brought,
Little enough I know;
A poor rhyme roughly wrought,
A rose to match thy snow:
All that I had I brought.
(Ernest Dowson 1867 - 1900)
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