La Gatta

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Post Reply
EatMyPoetry
Posts: 27
Joined: Mon May 16, 2011 7:51 pm

Mon Jun 22, 2015 8:47 pm

LA GATTA

Why is this cat completely unaffected by my party?
I stand here by the lightswitch
making scenes from an early-90s rave.
Overdosed on humidity,
she declares this is not a happy Monday
and exits the kitchen.
Top
Macavity
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 12009
Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 10:29 am

Tue Jun 23, 2015 4:43 am

EatMyPoetry wrote:LA GATTA

Why is she unaffected by my party?
I stand here by the lightswitch
making scenes from an early-90s rave.
Overdosed on humidity,
she declares this is not a happy Monday
and exits the kitchen.
Just a suggestion on L1 for more snap. Like the title. Not quite seeing the scene - if this is an actual or mind party? Perhaps the former and hence the humidity?

all the best

mac
Top
cynwulf
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 552
Joined: Thu Oct 10, 2013 2:20 pm

Tue Jun 23, 2015 3:41 pm

G'day EMP, I wondered as to the significance of the Italian title-hoe it relates to the poem and the scene you describe.
Regards, C.
Top
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Tue Jul 07, 2015 1:04 pm

There is something interesting here.
The first line is the most awkward but it has cat in it.

I would like to read more from you. Just saying.
Suzanne
Top
David
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 13973
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2006 4:40 pm
Location: Ellan Vannin

Wed Jul 08, 2015 4:43 pm

I like it! Although, like Cynwulf, why this was an Italian cat. Is it a clever Madchester reference that is passing me by completely?

Cheers

David
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Post-a-Poem (Beginners)”