such a bore

[anniecat]

SUCH A BORE

Life can be the utmost bore,
if you follow every law,
words of wisdom can, be for
anything and that's for sure.

No matter if your really raw,
brighten up your words, if poor
and add perhaps a little gore,
or close on this, your arty door.

To this, i will add no more
and concentrate on what i saw,
on this almighty site, i do adore,
as my poems are such a bore.

[mick]

You can do much better than this AC. I liked "and add, perhaps, a little gore". Your humour kicked in, but the poem as a whole sounds like a moan. I know - - I've no room to talk!
Mick

[anniecat]

Your so right it was a moan......... I'm sending a personal to you, for critic
before posting, i hope you don't mind, as i realise how busy you are and i also have to see my, mob is fed and watered, tonight, at least, haha.
It's called, awaiting transition. (jotted it down this afternoon)
Thanks AC.

[Celticwych]

Hi Anniecat,

I liked the first 2 lines,
"Life can be the upmost bore,
if you follow every law,"

How true, rhyming, puncyuation and grammar included! Keep writing.

Love Celtic Wych

[vesuvius]

I enjoyed this poem.

There's a few spelling and grammar mistakes which I'll (pedantically) get out the way first, but they are important. The first rule of correcting somebody's work is to spell everything correctly in the review, so I'm under pressure!

There is a common misconception with "upmost". The word is "utmost".

"words of wisdom can, be for,"

I don't think you need that first comma.

your realy = you're really
adour = adore


Once those few are sorted, I think this is a good poem. I like the last line being almost a punchline following the forced, singular rhyming throughout.

Forgive my pedantry, but I hope it was helpful.