Summer Evening

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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David Smedley
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Mon Jun 20, 2016 6:07 pm

Ice-cream van chimes-
one foot
in a hopscotch square
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Firebird
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Mon Jun 20, 2016 6:28 pm

Enjoyed this. It captures a summer moment well and what is about to ensue, too.

Cheers,

Tristan
SteveR
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Mon Jun 20, 2016 6:33 pm

David,
Made me smile! What a perfectly painted scenario in few words.
Thanks
Steve
David Smedley
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Mon Jun 20, 2016 6:35 pm

Cheers lads, the kids are out on the street as we speak.

Replied quickly as I was (obviously) still around. See ya.
trobbo44
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Tue Jun 21, 2016 8:40 am

A whole summer tableau in as few a words as possible. Very good
Ros
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Wed Jun 22, 2016 11:09 am

Excellent.
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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JJWilliamson
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Wed Jun 22, 2016 11:14 am

Perfect, David. Just perfect.

Best

JJ
Long time a child and still a child
David Smedley
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Wed Jun 22, 2016 7:36 pm

T44.
Ros.
JJ.
Thank you for your time, happy it came across. D.
Macavity
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Wed Jun 22, 2016 7:51 pm

more applause
David Smedley
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Fri Jun 24, 2016 7:36 pm

Awwww, cheers Mac.
ton321
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Sat Jun 25, 2016 2:07 am

captures a childhood moment, nice one!
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
David Smedley
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Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:32 pm

Cheers Ton.
Namyh
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Thu Jun 30, 2016 11:07 pm

David - You have verbally captured a forgotten Kodak moment for me plucked from a time when I heard the ice cream chimes, hop scotched on one foot and thought I'd live forever just having big fun in the city summer heat. Thanks for that resurrection of thought DS. It was a breath of fresh air.........and I can still hear the chimes. Whoa! Namyh
David Smedley
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Sat Jul 02, 2016 3:00 pm

Cheers H. "Thought I'd live forever." Too right!
Moth
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Sat Jul 09, 2016 3:31 am

Lovely. Great double image with the square.
to be totally honest... whenever you feel you really shouldn't write that, that's exactly what you should write.
David Smedley
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Fri Jul 15, 2016 7:35 pm

Moth, happy you got something from this. Appolls for the late reply, have had a couple of days away.
David.
Katherine
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Sun Jul 17, 2016 6:54 pm

Oh, I remember that so well!
Unfortunately, my beloved mother was not always in the mood to acquiesce to begging, but daddy always had ten pence.
Love it! x
David Smedley
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Tue Jul 19, 2016 5:21 pm

Cheers Katherine, happy it jogged a memory. D
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