Floating though out the wings,
Wind between the creases
Life at a standstill, for the precious winged one
Abruptly Pierced.
Broken at last, fallen he has become,
Amongst the skin of another,
Red, flowing quickly from finger to finger.
Each precious wing soon disappear
Floating along a string, attached to another.
Together again, an angel is born
Scarred within the skin,
Sewn into the flesh and blood,
A man made angel floats.
Yet scarred forever with the blood of the innocent,
Repulsive to others,
Yet inside believes an angel is made.
man- made angel
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ilookalikeadragon
- Posts: 11
- Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2006 12:02 am
Last edited by ilookalikeadragon on Thu Jun 22, 2006 2:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Hi Dragon
I like the way this joins the subject, the artist and the art together; reminds me of having a dragonfly done on my back (wings definitely disappeared under the red flowing then!).
starting with the basics, can you add some punctuation please? A few full stops and commas would give a little more definition and aid the reader.
"A man made angel floats "
can be read as an angel that was made by man, or a man that has become an angel; nice, was that intended?
How about "within the skin" in place of "amongst the skin" ?
Binz
I like the way this joins the subject, the artist and the art together; reminds me of having a dragonfly done on my back (wings definitely disappeared under the red flowing then!).
starting with the basics, can you add some punctuation please? A few full stops and commas would give a little more definition and aid the reader.
"A man made angel floats "
can be read as an angel that was made by man, or a man that has become an angel; nice, was that intended?
How about "within the skin" in place of "amongst the skin" ?
Binz
-
kozmikdave
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 2185
- Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:36 am
- Location: Brisbane, Australia
Gidday
I have read this about six times and keep coming up with different ideas. Apart from a minor suggestion, e.g. "Each precious wing soon disappears" surely, there is little to add. If there was a previous version that I missed there may have been more clues.
One of the images was of the Mt Isa (Qld, Aust) base hospital where the nurses used to spray the flies with spray-on skin and freeze them in their tracks.
The rest reminds me of farmers who shoot crows and hang them out to frighten off the other birds.
Good stuff - but then it doesn't take much to make me work hard at understanding anything more complicated than a two-word sentence.
Cheers
Dave
I have read this about six times and keep coming up with different ideas. Apart from a minor suggestion, e.g. "Each precious wing soon disappears" surely, there is little to add. If there was a previous version that I missed there may have been more clues.
One of the images was of the Mt Isa (Qld, Aust) base hospital where the nurses used to spray the flies with spray-on skin and freeze them in their tracks.
The rest reminds me of farmers who shoot crows and hang them out to frighten off the other birds.
Good stuff - but then it doesn't take much to make me work hard at understanding anything more complicated than a two-word sentence.
Cheers
Dave