NaPoWriMo prompt for April 28th: Write a poem using Skeltonic verse. For details click on http://www.napowrimo.net/
Alternative Prompts:
1. Slip Up: Write about making mistakes.
2. Spice: Write about flavors and tastes or a favorite spice of yours.
3. Sing a New Song: Take a popular song off the radio and rewrite it as a poem in your own words.
Two more days after 4/28 folks and the challenge will be over. Hang in there.
Luce
April 28th
b] Life Lesson #12– Skeltonic Verse - Revision[/b]
take to the max.
don’t fade to black
walk strong
face the storm
stand your ground,
earn the crown
your foes may laugh
and even attack
but keep trying
hide the crying
and if you burn
it was on your terms
Life Lesson #12– Skeltonic Verse
take it to the max.
[tab]don’t fade to black[/tab]
forge ahead strong
[tab]face the coming storm[/tab]
stand your ground,
[tab]deserve that crown[/tab]
your foes may laugh
[tab]cut you in half[/tab]
but keep flying
[tab]even though you feel you’re dying[/tab]
and if you crash and burn
[tab]remember, it was on your terms[/tab]
Luce
take to the max.
don’t fade to black
walk strong
face the storm
stand your ground,
earn the crown
your foes may laugh
and even attack
but keep trying
hide the crying
and if you burn
it was on your terms
Life Lesson #12– Skeltonic Verse
take it to the max.
[tab]don’t fade to black[/tab]
forge ahead strong
[tab]face the coming storm[/tab]
stand your ground,
[tab]deserve that crown[/tab]
your foes may laugh
[tab]cut you in half[/tab]
but keep flying
[tab]even though you feel you’re dying[/tab]
and if you crash and burn
[tab]remember, it was on your terms[/tab]
Luce
Last edited by Luce on Sat Apr 29, 2017 6:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
"She acts like summer, walks like rain." - Train
-
JJWilliamson
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3276
- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:20 am
The Weaver (Skeltonic verse)
My love has left
me quite bereft
of hope; a theft
that frays the weft
within, so neatly
strung, completely
stretched, discretely
woven through
the warp and hue.
Her hullabaloo
and ballyhoo
were gift-wrapped clues,
which I construed
as a point of view,
but they clearly said,
I was misled,
feared to tread
or look ahead
beyond the day
I heard you say
"I won't fulfil
my role until
you find the will
to fix the loom".
I left the room,
consumed by gloom.
My love has left
me quite bereft
of hope; a theft
that frays the weft
within, so neatly
strung, completely
stretched, discretely
woven through
the warp and hue.
Her hullabaloo
and ballyhoo
were gift-wrapped clues,
which I construed
as a point of view,
but they clearly said,
I was misled,
feared to tread
or look ahead
beyond the day
I heard you say
"I won't fulfil
my role until
you find the will
to fix the loom".
I left the room,
consumed by gloom.
Long time a child and still a child
-
JJWilliamson
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3276
- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:20 am
Hey, Luce
I thought there was only supposed to be two stresses per line.
Have I missed the point again?
To be fair, my grasp of Skeltonics is only exceeded by my knowledge
of nuclear physics and pulsar formation.
JJ
I thought there was only supposed to be two stresses per line.
Have I missed the point again?
To be fair, my grasp of Skeltonics is only exceeded by my knowledge
of nuclear physics and pulsar formation.
JJ
Long time a child and still a child
You're right about the stresses. You must be detecting more than two stresses in my submission. They all sound alike to me you know.JJWilliamson wrote:Hey, Luce
I thought there was only supposed to be two stresses per line.
Have I missed the point again?
To be fair, my grasp of Skeltonics is only exceeded by my knowledge
of nuclear physics and pulsar formation.
JJ
Can you point them out so I can revise? Luce
"She acts like summer, walks like rain." - Train
-
JJWilliamson
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3276
- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:20 am
Certainly.
I'm off to the hospital just now but I'll do it later if they don't keep me in.
They do specify "heavy stress" so you might not be so far away after all.
JJ
I'm off to the hospital just now but I'll do it later if they don't keep me in.
They do specify "heavy stress" so you might not be so far away after all.
JJ
Long time a child and still a child
-
JJWilliamson
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- Posts: 3276
- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:20 am
Luce wrote: Life Lesson #12– Skeltonic Verse
Here are the stresses as I see them. Remember, you'd stress certain words differently, being from the US and all.
EG I'd say EILeen, you'd say eiLEEN. Then there's hong KONG and HONG kong. My take is the Brit version.
I've marked the stresses in bold.
take it to the max. ...Two strong stresses and a soft stress on 'to'.
[tab]don’t fade to black[/tab] ...Two clear stresses
forge ahead strong ...Two stresses, possibly three with ahead. Milder stress, though.
[tab]face the coming storm[/tab] ...Three stresses
stand your ground, ...Two
[tab]deserve that crown[/tab] ...Another definite two.
your foes may laugh ...Yip, another doubler.
[tab]cut you in half[/tab] ...'Cut' and 'you' could carry an equal stress depending on your patterns of natural emphasis.
but keep flying ...I'd say two
[tab]^ ev/en though/ you feel/ you’re dy/ing...This is a line of iambic tetrameter with a headless iamb at the start and a feminine close.
and if you crash and burn
[tab]remem/ber, it/ was on/ your terms./[/tab] ...Another line of IT. 4 iambs.
Well, that's my scansion and as you can see you're not far off. The Iambic Tet sticks out, though.
Hope this helps
JJ
Luce
Long time a child and still a child
-
Crayon
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- Location: Betwixt marshes, Kent, UK.
Unless you're Dexys Midnight Runners; and then you'd stress everything.JJWilliamson wrote:Remember, you'd stress certain words differently, being from the US and all.
EG I'd say EILeen, you'd say eiLEEN.
wisteria
glares mauve ~
sleepless dawn
glares mauve ~
sleepless dawn
-
JJWilliamson
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3276
- Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:20 am
Ah, COME ON!!Crayon wrote:Unless you're Dexys Midnight Runners; and then you'd stress everything.JJWilliamson wrote:Remember, you'd stress certain words differently, being from the US and all.
EG I'd say EILeen, you'd say eiLEEN.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvfjs_ ... -eil_music
Video's not so good. One of my favourite songs!
JJ
PS I danced around like a hatter to this one. Dates me a bit, but my student days wouldn't have been the same without them.
Great name for a band as well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmkcKjGyJv8
J
Long time a child and still a child
WOW JJ!!! Thanks a heap for taking the time. Hope you're okay buddy.
I did a quick revision.
Luce
P.S. Always liked that song. The video had a strange "post end of the world" type feel with everyone dressed in overalls. It was intriguing until he started to lift his arms and you saw that underarm hair. UGH!!!!
I did a quick revision.
Luce
P.S. Always liked that song. The video had a strange "post end of the world" type feel with everyone dressed in overalls. It was intriguing until he started to lift his arms and you saw that underarm hair. UGH!!!!
"She acts like summer, walks like rain." - Train
Double WOW!!! Way to go JJ. Better approach then the one I used. It looks like you did a four foot line and just broke it up. Definitely sounds smooth.
Luce
Luce
JJWilliamson wrote:The Weaver (Skeltonic verse)
My love has left
me quite bereft
of hope; a theft
that frays the weft
within, so neatly
strung, completely
stretched, discretely
woven through
the warp and hue.
Her hullabaloo
and ballyhoo
were gift-wrapped clues,
which I construed
as a point of view,
but they clearly said,
I was misled,
feared to tread
or look ahead
beyond the day
I heard you say
"I won't fulfil
my role until
you find the will
to fix the loom".
I left the room,
consumed by gloom.
"She acts like summer, walks like rain." - Train
