Sincerly, Your Ex-Boyfriend (Some Swearing,)

[Poet]

Dear ex-girlfriend
I hate you and I hope you
rotting in the hell you belong.

I am not joking, I’m surprised you
haven’t fucked off yet
I wonder what you are up to.

I wonder if you are listening
to the very words I say
There is a lingering french smell of
your stench and it is growing on me.

And I hope you are kidding when
I tell you that you are crazy enough
for the fact that you are insane, I
wonder what you are doing? I think
if I stitched my eyes or become the
black sheep of my family, you’d appear
like a genie and try to take everything
that I worked for.

Which would be the worst thing in the word
You act like you are the know-it-all of the
whole bed of fish swimming beneath
you.

I don’t know what your deal is but I hope
you die a slow and painful death
And don’t flex on me ok?

I am better than you
So for once I write to you this letter just
know that I am better than you’ll ever be.

I am the one with the fist of greatness
And you are the one with a toothpick
showing it whoever, no one really cares
about you.

So I hope you read this and have a miserable
day
Sincerely.

Your ex-lover

[CalebPerry]

Poet, you came to this forum pretending to be a professional poet (although there is really no such thing). Pretending to be something you are not is one thing, but a vulgar diatribe like this is not suitable for a poetry forum. This isn't poetry, it's just hate.

[CalebPerry]

Dear ex-girlfriend
I hate you and I hope you
rotting in the hell you belong.

I am not joking, I’m surprised you
haven’t fucked off yet
I wonder what you are up to.

I wonder if you are listening
to the very words I say
There is a lingering french smell of
your stench and it is growing on me.

And I hope you are kidding when
I tell you that you are crazy enough
for the fact that you are insane, I
wonder what you are doing? I think
if I stitched my eyes or become the
black sheep of my family, you’d appear
like a genie and try to take everything
that I worked for.

Which would be the worst thing in the word
You act like you are the know-it-all of the
whole bed of fish swimming beneath
You.

I don’t know what your deal is but I hope
you die a slow and painful death
And don’t flex on me ok?

I am better than you
So for once I write to you this letter just
know that I am better than you’ll ever be.

I am the one with the fist of greatness
And you are the one with a toothpick
showing it whoever, no one really cares
about you.

So I hope you read this and have a miserable
Day
Sincerely.

Your ex-lover

Here it is, just in case he tries to erase it.

[jcnash]

Always difficult to offer a critique of your work because it breaks all the rules, and it's all the better for it. I could point out the spelling mistakes and the grammatical errors and the fact that some parts really don't seem to make a lot of sense but I won't because any corrections would just dilute the emotional immediacy of the poem.

I always enjoy reading yours, I admire (and envy a little) your freedom of expression. I wonder if you've read anything by Billy Childish, might be worth seeking his work out if you haven't.

All the best,
barrett.

[CalebPerry]

Barrett, this isn't enviable freedom of expression. It's just trash. Poet writes like a 14-year-old who got dumped by a girl.

[jcnash]

Barrett, this isn't enviable freedom of expression. It's just trash. Poet writes like a 14-year-old who got dumped by a girl.

Now, now, Perry, calm down or you'll do yourself a mischief. You acted like this before when you were on this forum under the name Caleb Murdock (you're not the only one who has been here before under a different name), I seem to remember you ended up getting banned that time, is that right?

Even if it were true that Poet is a 14 year old who has been dumped by a girl, does that mean they are not allowed to write poetry. If it was true that 14 year olds getting dumped were not allowed to write poetry then there would be very, very few older poets around.

I stand by my previous comments on this poem.

[CalebPerry]

This thread is about Poet's poem, and it is a vile and amateurish piece of trash. I think it should be deleted. You do him a disservice by praising it.

[jcnash]

This thread is about Poet's poem, and it is a vile and amateurish piece of trash. I think it should be deleted. You do him a disservice by praising it.

In your opinion, of course.

And I think you're sort of proving my point there, Perry. Just once, I'd love to write something that provoked so much emotion in a reader. Imagine writing something that made someone so angry that they wanted it banned!

[Harbal]

I could point out the spelling mistakes and the grammatical errors and the fact that some parts really don't seem to make a lot of sense

To commit all those crimes and still produce a praiseworthy piece of work takes a special kind of talent; wouldn't you say, barrett?

[jcnash]

I could point out the spelling mistakes and the grammatical errors and the fact that some parts really don't seem to make a lot of sense

To commit all those crimes and still produce a praiseworthy piece of work takes a special kind of talent; wouldn't you say, barrett?

I wouldn't necessarily say that, Harbal, you've truncated my sentence and removed the relevant part of it. It's because of those things that this is an interesting poem.

[Harbal]

It's because of those things that this is an interesting poem.

I totally agree, barrett, it was precisely those things that drew my attention to it.

[Poet]

Whoa whoa whoa, I don't think this poem should be deleted, I like it but it does feel angsty and that's what I was trying to express in the poem so I was feeling a little angry and I wanted to write something about my ex and also I am 27 years old and not a 14 year old.

[Poet]

Always difficult to offer a critique of your work because it breaks all the rules, and it's all the better for it. I could point out the spelling mistakes and the grammatical errors and the fact that some parts really don't seem to make a lot of sense but I won't because any corrections would just dilute the emotional immediacy of the poem.

I always enjoy reading yours, I admire (and envy a little) your freedom of expression. I wonder if you've read anything by Billy Childish, might be worth seeking his work out if you haven't.

All the best,
barrett.

Never heard of Billy Childish, so I'll look him up.

[Poet]

Barrett, this isn't enviable freedom of expression. It's just trash. Poet writes like a 14-year-old who got dumped by a girl.

It does feel that way sure, but I think it is beautiful in a way, next time I will write something more profound and less about a girl.

[Poet]

This thread is about Poet's poem, and it is a vile and amateurish piece of trash. I think it should be deleted. You do him a disservice by praising it.

That is your opinion.

[twoleftfeet]

I think it's probably quite difficult to write an emotive poem like this - but it helps if the poet can provide suitable levels of vindictiveness,narcissism,anger and a a dash of misogyny.
If he manages to throw in some impenetrably poor grammar - to accentuate the anger,of course - why,then
I'm convinced - he's a genius.

Barrett,old chap - that Billy Childish fellow is really rather good. Thanks for that!

[David]

I'm going to let this thread have a nice lie-down in a quiet room.